


When It All Falls Apart

by YourGirlThursday



Category: Stitchers (TV)
Genre: 1x07 speculation, Canon Divergent, F/M, camsten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-09 08:55:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 23,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4342169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YourGirlThursday/pseuds/YourGirlThursday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirsten leaned against the wall outside of Camille’s door, arms crossed. She tried to piece together what had happened earlier in the day. Even now as she sifted through her memories, she couldn’t pinpoint exactly where everything had gone wrong. It was many little moments that had gotten her into this mess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Settlers of Catan

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Stitchers fic. I wanted to get the first chapter up before we actually met Liam just in case they break up this episode. Canon will probably mess most of this up tonight, but oh well. I did watch the preview clips for 1x07, but I didn't really lift much info from them. I ran with the fact that Liam is presented as the nicest and most perfect person ever.
> 
> I couldn't help myself from throwing Settlers of Catan into this. My family loves it and plays all the time. The crew is playing the original game with the expansion pack for 5/6 players. Basic gist of the game: everyone's turn starts with rolling dice. Certain numbers give certain players cards. You use cards to build things or pick up special cards. These actions give you points. If a seven gets rolled, all players with over 7 cards have to discard half of them. The first player to 10 points wins. I tried to make their gameplay make sense if you aren't familiar with the game. If there's something that I should clarify, drop me a note.
> 
> Under the line is the night Kirsten is telling Camille about.

Kirsten leaned against the wall outside of Camille’s door, arms crossed. She tried to piece together what had happened earlier in the day. Even now as she sifted through her memories, she couldn’t pinpoint exactly where everything had gone wrong. It was many little moments that had gotten her into this mess. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear Camille get out of the shower. Her roommate padded up in her pajamas. She stopped towel drying her hair when she spotted Kirsten.

“I thought you were staying over at Lover Boy’s tonight.” Camille frowned when she noticed the crease between Kirsten’s eyebrows deepen. “Did you two have a fight?”

Kirsten tilted her head to the side. “You could call it that. Neither of us yelled though, so maybe not. We definitely broke up though.”

Camille raised her eyebrows and nodded once. “I think we're going to need some wine with this story.”

They both made their way to the kitchen. Kirsten grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge. She poured the merlot into glasses that Camille had taken from the cabinet. Kirsten was a little heavyhanded with the amount. Camille took a few sips off the top so the liquid didn’t slosh out when she walked. Kirsten drained half of her glass before she made it to the couch.

Camille wrapped herself up in a blanket. She settled in with her wine and turned toward Kirsten. “So what happened with you and Mr. Abs?”

Kirsten closed her eyes in thought. “I think I should start with Settlers of Catan night.”

* * *

“Three! That’s another sheep and two wheat for me.” Liam beamed across the table. “Thanks, Linus!”

Linus shifted in his seat. His eyes stayed focused on the table before him. Cameron’s face went blank as he slouched lower in his chair. The entire game had been one lucky streak for Liam and a shitstorm for Cameron. Liam kept getting resource cards quickly and playing them within a turn. He already had the longest road, two cities, and two settlements, which gave him eight victory points. He also had three face down development cards, one of which was likely a victory point. He could easily reach ten points in the next hand or so. 

Cameron, on the other hand, only had the two settlements he started with for two points. None of his numbers were coming up on the dice, even though he built on mostly sixes and eights, which statistically should pop up more often. When he finally got some cards, Camille rolled a seven which wiped out half of his hand. It would’ve been harder to watch if Cameron wasn’t the one who was usually annihilating everyone. Still Kirsten was ready for Cameron to be put out of his misery. He had slowly withdrawn as the game had gone on. It was strange for him to be this quiet.

Luckily for Cameron, Liam built a settlement and revealed a development card worth a victory point on his next turn. The game had been an absolute slaughter. Linus came in second with only four points. Camille rolled her eyes and shot Linus a look. Kirsten had a feeling they were both annoyed with how the game had gone. Their games were usually a lot closer than this. Kirsten gave Liam a kiss on the cheek and congratulated him. It seemed like the right thing to do.

Linus and Camille broke down the board, separating the expansion pieces from the rest of the game. Liam sorted the cards. Cameron immediately busied himself with taking dishes to the kitchen. Kirsten gathered up the last of the dishes and followed him.

Cameron stood at the sink. Steam rose as he washed a plate. Kirsten took a dishtowel and joined him. She took the wet plate from him and started to dry it off. Cameron smiled at her, but there was something funny about it. The edges didn’t quite fall where they usually did. His smile was as recognizable to Kirsten as her favorite sweater.

“He’s good.” Cameron wouldn’t meet her eyes. His voice was low so they wouldn’t be overheard. “Did they play a lot in the Peace Corps?”

Kirsten shook her head as she checked the plate in her hands. “Greenpeace.”

Cameron nearly dropped the fork he was washing. “I was kidding,” he muttered. “Maybe he really is perfect.”

They continued in silence for a moment. It seemed like Cameron was scrubbing things with a little more force, but that could’ve been the honey glaze being stubborn. More than just steam hung in the air between them. Kirsten wasn’t sure what it was, but she didn’t like feeling like there was a barrier between her and Cameron.

“He snores,” Kirsten blurted out. She wasn’t sure why, but she thought it might lighten the mood.

The corner of Cameron’s mouth twitched slightly. “So do you.”

Kirsten rolled her eyes. “No, I don’t.” She pushed at Cameron’s arm with the towel in her hand. The move left a wet mark on his sleeve. “Whoops.”

Cameron smiled genuinely for the first time in a long while. Kirsten couldnt measure it in time, but she knew that in their last few interactions Cameron had been acting funny. Seeing a real smile from him made her realize how different his false ones were. They usually shared things with each other. It was strange that he was trying to hide his feelings.

Kirsten tried to keep their moment going. “He insists on making me fancy coffee drinks, instead of how I usually drink it.” She paused to think. “Sometimes when he kisses me-”

A sharp noise cut Kirsten off. Cameron had fumbled a plate and dropped it. There was now a large chip in it. An irritated huff came out of Cameron. He grabbed a paper towel to pick up the shard and throw it out.

“Are you guys okay?” Linus called from the living room.

Cameron tossed the broken piece into the garbage can. “Fine,” he yelled back.

Liam popped up at the counter in front of the kitchen. “You about ready to head out, babe?”

Kirsten wasn’t quite ready to let Cameron go yet. She felt things slipping back to being weird. “We still have a few dishes left. I’ll be out when we’re done.”

Liam disappeared with a smile.  Cameron waited until Liam was out of sight before quietly telling Kirsten that he could finish up on his own.  

“I’m not going anywhere without checking to make sure you’re okay.” She took one of Cameron’s hands in both of her own. Her fingers trailed along his hand to find any tender spots or cuts.

Cameron stared at their joined hands. “You really don’t have to.” There was a tension in his voice that Kirsten doesn’t quite understand. It was almost as if a steel cord had been wrapped around his throat.

“We take care of each other,” she said simply. Cameron was always looking out for her. It was nice to be the one in that role for once. That was how partnerships worked.

Kirsten examined his other hand, but found nothing. She held on even though she was done. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Cameron nodded, delicately pulling out of her grasp. “My hands are okay.” His eyes didn’t quite meet Kirsten’s. “You should get going. Liam’s waiting.”

Kirsten’s fingers flexed, trying to grab back onto Cameron’s. She tried to read the emotion behind his expression. Her mind flipped through her mental rolodex of feelings. His fragile smile and furrowed eyebrows gave nothing away. She couldn’t figure it out. Frustration welled up in her. She couldn’t let him see it though.

“I’ll see you at work, Dr. Smartypants.” The nickname was her last ditch effort at teasing out a smile. It had the opposite effect. His whole face shut down. 

Cameron barely made eye contact with her and waved halfheartedly. “See you then.”

As Kirsten collected her bag, something nagged at her. There was something she had noticed, but couldn’t figure out what it was. She barely responded to Liam as he chattered about how much he liked her coworkers. It wasn’t until Kirsten was buckling her seatbelt that she realized what had happened.

Cameron hadn’t called her by any nicknames.

Kirsten wasn't sure what that meant, but the thought that he might be upset with her made her chest ache.


	2. Coffee and Muffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If anything this whole Liam thing was good for Cameron. It proved once and for all that Kirsten was way out of his league.
> 
> He had been instantly attracted to her, so he (barely) tried (and totally failed) to keep his distance. The silly nicknames were his way of maintaining space or so he told himself. At some point he realized that they were terms of endearment, his way of flirting with her. As much as he had tried to tell himself the attachment was just his own residual emotion about Marta, he found himself falling more for Kirsten each day. Her intelligence, her commitment to doing the right thing, and her bravery swirled together to make her pretty remarkable in Cameron's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to veer wildly out of canon territory now. It won't match up with most of what happened in 1x07. All of my research for Cameron's heart condition came from the American Heart Association's site. It was a fantastic resource. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for the kudos, subscriptions, bookmarks, and comments! They mean so much. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter and continue on with the story.

Cameron pulled the graham cracker pie crust out of the oven. He set the pie dish on top of a cooling rack then slipped out of his oven mitts. They were on for less than a minute, but managed to make his hands sweaty in that time. He wiped his hands on his 'The Spice Must Flow' apron then pressed a button on his tablet.

The banana cream pie recipe he was making appeared on the screen. He collected all of the ingredients he needed to make pudding from scratch. It had been a really rough day. His first impulse had been to play some sort of violent video game with Linus. Unfortunately, he had already made plans with Camille.

Cameron’s fallback was to cook something labor intensive. Recipes were straightforward. If he followed the instructions, everything would turn out okay.  His appetite hadn’t been great lately so he wanted to make something he could share with his coworkers. A desert seemed like his best bet. An apple pie involved a traditional pie crust, which he was terrible at making. Creme brulee would require him to use a butane torch, which he didn’t want to buy. A banana cream pie needed the kind of work he wanted. He had already crushed the graham crackers for the crust at first by hand, then with a rolling pin. The plastic bag they were in had been nearly destroyed by the end.

Someone knocked loudly at the door when Cameron had just finished measuring out all of the ingredients for the pudding. Linus was on the other side with beer and a bag of pretzels. He held them both up to show Cameron.

“Still up for some video games?” Linus asked with a smile.

Cameron moved so his friend could get in the door. “Yeah. Just let me finish this up real quick.” He gestured vaguely at the kitchen. “What happened to hanging out with Camille tonight?”

Linus shrugged and busied himself with finding a bottle opener. “Something came up.”

“Is she okay?”

“Camille’s fine. Just busy.”

Cameron licked his lips then pressed them together. “With someone else?”

It took Linus a moment to figure out what his friend was getting at. “Okay I told myself I wasn’t going to pry and I was going to wait for you to open up. Seriously though, dude, what the hell is going on with you two? I know you’ve been upset about the whole Liam thing and things have been tense, but you’re on a whole other level right now. You can’t even say Kirsten’s name.”

Cameron turned back to his baking. Concentrating on that meant he could avoid Linus’ knowing stare. “There was a minor incident today. I’m dealing with it.”

“Your choice of music says otherwise.” Linus pointed toward the sound system. “An acoustic cover of ‘Wrecking Ball?’ That’s a cry for help if I’ve ever heard one.”

“Hey, I didn’t make the playlist. I’m just playing it,” Cameron said, waving his whisk around. Little bits of liquid flecked onto the counter and floor.

Linus took a sip of his beer. “Well when you’re ready to talk, I’m here.” He leaned up against the counter and started reading something on his phone.

They stood in the kitchen without talking for several minutes. If Cameron’s stirring increased in force, Linus wasn’t commenting on it. He did, however, snort when a slow piano version of “Let It Go” started to play. After several minutes the pudding thickened. Cameron transferred it to a bowl so it could chill. There was nothing left to do until the pudding was set.

It was time for him to face the music.

"I thought things were getting back to normal the morning of Nora Marin's case,” Cameron began.

* * *

 

Cameron kept waking up, replaying the previous night. He had been such an ass to Kirsten. Her relationship was none of his business. He should be happy that his friend had found someone so great. Instead he was punishing her for dating someone that wasn't him.

If anything this whole Liam thing was good for Cameron. It proved once and for all that Kirsten was way out of his league. Plus, it was absurd to be mean to a girl because he liked her.

Cameron had been instantly attracted to her, so he (barely) tried (and totally failed) to keep his distance. The silly nicknames we[1] re his way of maintaining space or so he told himself. At some point he realized that they were terms of endearment, his way of flirting with her. As much as he had tried to tell himself the attachment was just his own residual emotion about Marta, he found himself falling more for Kirsten each day. Her intelligence, her commitment to doing the right thing, and her bravery swirled together to make her pretty remarkable in Cameron's eyes.

His heart had practically leapt into his throat when he caught her staring. For the briefest of moments he thought she was looking because she wanted to, wanted him. It was the cruelest thing, thinking she felt the same way only to find out she wasn't. Instead she was examining his greatest insecurity, though she had yet to say anything about it.

The scar had been a part of his body for over half of his life. The surgeons had replaced his faulty aortic valve with a bovine one when he was ten. For his high school graduation he got a shiny, new mechanical valve. It would last him several decades. Regular exercise and visits to the cardiologist kept him healthy. No matter how much he tried to explain that he had a handle on things, everyone had this frustrating notion that they knew more about his condition than he did. Fifteen minutes on WebMD made everyone feel like they were qualified to tell him what to do. He knew his limits, but no one accepted that.

Everyone treated him with kid gloves once they found out about his heart condition. His teachers made him sit out in gym class. People stared if they could see his scar peeking out of his shirt. His college roommate switched rooms because he didn’t want the responsibility of living with him. His mother made helicopter moms seem distant. His life had been scheduled down to the minute so she knew where he was at all times. Anytime he went out with friends, he was required to tell his mom where the nearest hospital was. That way he would be able to ask someone to take him there in case of an emergency. Never mind the fact that if he did have a problem he would probably just pass out and EMT’s would take him wherever they needed to. Kirsten was the only person Cameron knew who hadn’t let it change anything. She told him that it was like she had always known about the scar. It surprised Cameron when she told him there were better reasons to sideline him. It was meant to make him feel better, but had the opposite effect.

It was almost funny. Cameron had never wanted to go out in the field. Now he was worried that Kirsten would bench him. He wouldn't blame her. In all honesty he wasn’t sure why she hadn’t yet. His improv skills left a lot to be desired. The only time he disarmed a bad guy, Cameron promptly puked afterward. The only pluses he had in his column were his car and the fact that he made a great shield. His recent attitude problem was yet another drawback to having him as a partner. He couldn't imagine Kirsten keeping him around with the way he had been acting lately.

Cameron had a lot to make up for.

His plan was to start by apologizing and buying her coffee. The shop near his place had been slammed so he wasn’t as early as he usually was. Kirsten wasn’t at her desk. Cameron looked around their lab to find her sitting at his desk with her feet propped up on the edge . The blonde was fiddling with a Rubik’s cube, making moves at random. Cameron set down her coffee.

“Morning, Ace.” The nickname didn’t come as easily as it used to, but he was making an effort at normalcy. Her answering smile told him she might have missed this.

Kirsten moved her legs from their place near the keyboard. “Hey, Stud. That’s for you.” She gestured toward a small bag near the mousepad.

Cameron looked in the bag. The smell of cinnamon rose from it. “What’s this?”

“A muffin. It’s a common breakfast food," Kirsten told him matter of factly.

Cameron's lips twitched. “I know that. I meant why are you giving me a muffin?”

Kirsten shrugged. “Camille and I got breakfast this morning.She brought Linus a croissant. I thought you would like something too.”

Cameron hated that she was being so nice to him when he didn't deserve it. “Thank you." He moved the coffee cup toward his partner. “It’s funny. I actually got you coffee. As an apology.”

Kirsten tilted her head to the side in confusion. “What are you apologizing for?"

"I've been kind of distracted and haven't really been a good partner lately," he explained lamely, not wanting to tell her exactly why he had been upset.

"I've noticed." Kirsten's hands cupped around her coffee cup, stealing warmth from it. "I'm glad you're feeling better."

Cameron caught sight of a dead girl being wheeled into the lab.  “Looks like we've got a stitch to get ready for.”

Kirsten stood up and took a sip of her coffee. "I'll see you in the conference room." She began to walk away then turned back around. “You know you can talk to me, right? Anytime I need you, you’re right there.That’s not a one-way thing.”

Cameron put on his best smile for her and hoped it was convincing.. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Guilt washed over him. She shouldn't be so concerned. He wanted to tell her everything from his scar to how he felt about her, but he couldn't. Every time he opened up to her, he fell a little harder.

Kirsten Clark was going to be the end of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next go around will be from either Camille or Kirsten's POV. I haven't quite decided yet.


	3. Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kirsten secretly enjoyed the pre-stitch run down. The checklist was soothing for her. It let her know that all of the equipment was running smoothly. Also, it helped Cameron slip into his role as her lifeline. There was a confidence in his voice that only appeared during stitches. He reached the end of the list then initiated the stitch neurosync.
> 
> The floating feeling in her stomach told Kirsten it had worked. She adjusted to how her body moved in another person's consciousness. It always felt equal parts weightless and too heavy. Sometimes it took a great effort to move two steps. Other times she stumbled forward without much thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one kind of got away from me. It's longer than both of the other chapters combined. That's mostly because there wasn't a lot of Camsten. Sorry there's a lot of case plot. I didn't want to have the wandering aimlessly, but got a little carried away.

Camille drained her third glass of wine. She could feel the alcohol sloshing her thoughts around. Linus hadn’t sent her a text in a while. It was hard to say whether that was a good or a bad sign. Hopefully, Cameron got more to the point than Kirsten did. It had been an hour already, yet Camille had learned nothing. Kirsten's extreme attention to detail and non-existent awareness of time made her a long winded and, quite frankly, boring storyteller.

"I have to go use the little scientist's room," Camille joked as she got off of the couch.

Kirsten frowned. "That's the third time since we started drinking. I haven't had to pee once. You should think about seeing a doctor."

Camille made a face, but tried to play it off. "Made the mistake of breaking the seal. Now I can't stop going. It sucks, but what else can I do?"

"That's not a real thing!" Kirsten called after her roommate as she hustled down the hallway.

Camille ran into the bathroom and locked the door. She flipped down the toilet seat lid and sat on it. There were no message notifications on her phone screen. Camille swore under her breath and reread Linus' texts from an hour ago.

 

> **Dude, he's stress baking. It smells so good.**
> 
> **I almost feel guilty profiting off of his pain. ALMOST.**
> 
> **He's listening to the most miserable collection of songs ever. This one just keeps repeating 'I don't love you but I always will.'**
> 
> **It's time. Keep me posted.**

Camille had sent him over there when she realized that Kirsten wasn't upset about Liam. At first it had seemed like that was what was going on. When all of Kirsten's stories were about Cameron and his feelings, Camille figured maybe he was the root of her roommate's crisis. If something had happened between them, then he needed Linus. Plus, there was a low likelihood that Camille would get the whole story from Kirsten. She wasn't nosey exactly, just unnaturally curious.

Or something.

Camille's fingers typed out a quick text to update Linus. For good measure she flushed the toilet and washed her hands. When she returned to the living room she noticed that Kirsten had swapped their wine glasses for water ones. There was also a bag of pretzel sticks out. Kirsten grabbed a handful of them.

"So, as you know, the Nora Marin case was really hard on me..."

* * *

Kirsten secretly enjoyed the pre-stitch run down. The checklist was soothing for her. It let her know that all of the equipment was running smoothly. Also, it helped Cameron slip into his role as her lifeline. There was a confidence in his voice that only appeared during stitches. He reached the end of the list then initiated the stitch neurosync.

The floating feeling in her stomach told Kirsten it had worked. She adjusted to how her body moved in another person's consciousness. It always felt equal parts weightless and too heavy. Sometimes it took a great effort to move two steps. Other times she stumbled forward without much thought.

Her keen eyes scanned the surroundings. It was a tiny room with two twin beds in it. There was a piece of cork on one wall that held photos, movie ticket stubs, and pieces of comic book artwork. Clothes and books were strewn along one side, while the other was relatively clean. A few notebooks and textbooks were in neat piles on the floor. Kirsten figured she was in a dorm room. The framed photos on the cleaner side of the room led her to believe it was Nora's.

"What do you see, Ace?" Cameron's voice interrupted her investigation.

"Did she have a roommate? We should talk to her," Kirsten said into her commlink.

A sniffling noise from the corner caught her attention. Nora Marin sat with her knees under her chin in the corner of the room. Flashes of two girls kept popping up. The dark-haired one was Nora. Sometimes she seemed so full of life, happily laughing with a redhead. Sometimes she was yelling viciously at the same redhead. The little moments continued as the crying Nora relived them. She looked at a framed photo in her hand. It was of two little girls dressed up like superheroes. Kirsten's chest ached. There was a strange pressure in her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe.

"You okay, Goose? Your vitals are a little wonky," Cameron asked.

Kirsten shook her head to clear it. "I'm fine. She's just really emotional."

The dorm dissolved into some sort of government building. Two young girls, a brunette and a redhead, were all dolled up. They were with a man in a suit and a woman in a white dress. The man and woman exchanged rings. The redhead grabbed the brunette's hand and squeezed it. "It worked. Now we're officially sisters," she whispered.

Kirsten examined the girls closely. "Can you look up her family? I think her step-sister might be her roommate."

It took a moment for Cameron to respond. "Good call, Stretch. Nora's file says her dad remarried when she was ten. Her step-sister's name is Meaghan. She's listed as a freshman at the same college as Nora."

"They were really close," Kirsten told him sadly. She could feel how much the girls cared for each other. There had been some sort of shift in their relationship, but she couldn't figure out what it was.

The memory changed rapidly. A digital clock claimed it was one in the morning. Nora sat at her desk. She was in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Her phone lit up with a phone call from Meaghan. Kirsten couldn't hear it, but it must've been important. Nora collected her wallet, keys, and a small bottle, then ran out the door. She didn't even change out of her pajamas.

"Something happened. I don't know what it is though," Kirsten reported.

Nora waded through the bodies at a loud party. She was still in the sweatpants and t-shirt. Once she made it to the stairs, she vaulted up them. The memory moved to a bedroom. A blonde girl sat with a half-asleep Meaghan. They both wore matching teal shirts with Greek letters on them. Nora knelt beside them. She pushed Meaghan's red hair behind her ear.

Kirsten put a hand to her earpiece. "Meaghan is in Upsilon Epsilon. I think I'm at a frat party."

"Oh, M." Nora turned to the blonde. "What happened, Carly?"

Carly, the blonde, sniffled. "I don't know. She was fine until she wasn't. She just started breaking out into hives. I got her up here immediately and called you. Nicki found some Benadryl in the bathroom and we gave it to her. I didn't even know she had any allergies. "

"You did the right thing. Thank you," Nora told her.

Carly gave her a watery smile. "She's my sister. It's my duty."

A strange look crossed Nora's face then vanished. Her expression became carefully blank. The only tell that she was upset was the way she held her hands. Her fingers were linked so tightly together that the knuckles were white. Something white hot burned in Kirsten's stomach.

"What was she drinking?" Nora asked.  

Carly held up a red, plastic cup. "This was hers. It was just rum and Coke, the same thing she always has. I don't know what would've set her off."

"Sixty seconds, Pork Chop," Cameron announced. "Anything going on?"

Kirsten moved closer to the girls. "Meaghan had an allergic reaction to something. Nora's hair is longer than it was when she died. This isn't that recent."

Nora grabbed Meaghan's hand. Her step-sister shifted in her sleep.

"Hey Wonder Woman. Here to save the day?" Meaghan asked blearily.

Nora smiled at her, slightly teary-eyed. "Heard you had some Kryptonite."

Meaghan blinked slowly. She looked like she was going to fall asleep again. Nora and Carly picked Meaghan up so Nora could drive her home.

Cameron's voice sounded strangely loud in Kirsten's ear. "You gotta make the bounce."

Kirsten didn't think there was anything else she could get from the stitch. She typed her exit passcode. As she snapped out of Nora's mind, the ache came back. It burned at her, tangy and bitter like touching her tongue to a penny. Ayo was at the her side to take her pulse. She smiled at Kirsten before she took her wrist. A gentle warmth melted at the edges of her heart. It wasn't enough to dull the feeling, but it definitely lessened the pain.

If Kirsten had to guess, she'd say that her residual emotion this time was loneliness. It wasn't one she had ever felt before. She definitely didn't like the way it made her chest hurt. Camille took some more of the pain away when she brought over a towel and draped it over her friend's shoulders.

The strangest part was that Cameron made it worse. He handed over Kirsten's phone and informed her that she had missed a call from Liam. The gesture also came with a reminder about silencing her phone before stitching. The interaction made the cavern behind her sternum seem even deeper than before. Usually he was the one who talked her through emotions. Kirsten's reaction left her feeling unsettled.

Kirsten went over the highlights of the stitch. There hadn't been all that much to learn. They would have to interview Nora's family and friends. If that didn't pan out, there was always hacking into her personal accounts. Meaghan was a great starting point though.

"I think Camille should work with me today," Kirsten told Maggie.

Cameron blinked rapidly, clearly caught off guard. "Why?"

"I want to talk to Meaghan. If she's in a sorority she'll probably be at the house or with her sisters. They'll be more likely to talk to Camille."

Cameron opened his mouth to counter that, but Camille beat him to talking. "I'd love to go out in the field."

Maggie looked between the two women thoughtfully. "I think that's a smart idea. Cameron, you can go talk with the RA and Nora's neighbors. It's possible she confided with someone in her dorm. Make sure you try to talk with the girl that found her."

"Who's going with him?" Kirsten asked.

Linus raised his hand. "I'll go." He held up his hand for a high five. Cameron unenthusiastically returned it.

Maggie nodded once. "Yeah, that'll work."

Kirsten turned toward the locker room. She needed to change before they went to the college. Her sense of style wasn't very fashionable, but she knew the catsuit would draw strange looks. Footsteps sounded behind her.

"Here to make sure I fit in?" Kirsten teased. She expected Camille to be at her side, but it was Cameron who walked up instead. The pain in her chest amplified. "Did I forget something?"

Cameron shook his head. "I just wanted to check in. You said Nora was really emotional."

Kirsten was usually upfront with Cameron about her residual emotions. She wasn't sure how he would take this one though. It felt like spending some time with Camille would help immensely. Kirsten told herself that if she wasn't feeling better by then, that she would talk with Cameron.

"I'm feeling okay right now. How about we meet up on campus once we're done? We can have a little lunch meeting and go over everything we learned."

That seemed to mollify Cameron somewhat. He wished her good luck. Kirsten felt like she needed to do something, but she wasn't sure what. As he turned to leave, she grabbed his sleeve to stop him.

"It's going to feel weird being out in the field without you," she confessed.

It was the wrong thing to say. Cameron's smile was small, but seemed genuine. It should've made her happy. Something about it shredded Kirsten's heart though.

* * *

Camille darted off course as they walked through the heart of the campus. Kirsten wasn't sure where her roommate was hustling to, but she followed anyway. Camille's destination appeared to be a smoothie shop.

"We're supposed to be meeting the guys for lunch," Kirsten called after her.

Camille increased her speed. She ran in the door and ordered a large mango smoothie before Kirsten could stop her.

"Seriously, Camille?"

Camille shrugged and handed her credit card over to the cashier. "I had to pretend that I was allergic to one of my favorite foods,  _then_  watch you all eat it. I _earned_  this."

They had just left the sorority house. It had been kind of a bust. Camille had sufficiently won the girls over, but they didn't have much information. They had readily accepted Kirsten and Camille into their fold. Luckily, Nora had been a computer science major so it was easy to pretend they were her TA's. They could pass for teaching assistants, and it was a connection no one would question. With the investigation surrounding Nora's death and the number of reporters on campus, Camille hadn't been sure it would work. A few details from Kirsten's stitch also helped.

When they arrived at the sorority house, Meaghan had been with several of her sisters. Her eyes were bloodshot from crying. She only stayed around long enough for Kirsten and Camille to offer their condolences. The others tried to comfort Camille and Kirsten as best they could. Carly was noticeably absent, so Kirsten made a mental note to catch up with her later. When the chapter president had offered the Stitchers a snack, Camille jumped on it. Her mouth watered at the pieces of mango nestled between sliced strawberries and pineapple chunks in a large bowl. Camille pointed out the mangoes excitedly. One of the girls asked if she was allergic. Before Camille could tell them how much she loved the fruit, Kirsten had jumped in and told them that that her roommate was very allergic.

If looks could kill, Camille's would've done so then resurrected Kirsten just to kill her again.

The strategy had worked though. Several of the girls told them about their own allergies including Meaghan's. One of her sisters revealed that she was allergic to penicillin, which made zero sense. There was no reason why she should accidentally take some sort of antibiotic at a party. Kirsten wondered if both girls were being targeted for some reason. It could be school related or something to do with their parents. Someone had gone to a lot of trouble to stage Nora's 'accident.' While they were at the house, Kirsten had managed to download all of Meaghan's texts in the hopes that they could help. They also talked with Fisher. He had agreed to let Kirsten accompany him to talk with Nora's parents. Now it was time to see what the boys had learned.

Finally someone handed Camille her smoothie. She thanked the smoothie shop boy and told him he was an angel. Kirsten marveled at how fast her roommate was downing her drink.

Camille hummed a sigh of relief. "Okay, now we can go find the boys. I told them we'd be at the student union soon."

It was a nice day out. The sun was peeking out from the clouds, keeping it warm, not boiling. Several students had brought out towels or blankets to hang out on the quad. A pickup football game had drawn a small crowd. Cameron and Linus were standing off to the side, listening to a girl playing an acoustic guitar.

Linus spotted them first. He waved then nudged Cameron. As Kirsten and Camille walked over, Linus made a big production of looking for something in his pockets.

"I forgot my phone." Linus said in an overly bright voice. "Can I have the keys?"

Cameron rolled his eyes at him. "Gee, I wonder how that could've happened." He handed over his car keys. "Let me guess, you need Camille to help you look?"

Camille snickered. She shrugged before grabbing Linus' hand. "Be back in twenty," she called over her shoulder.

Cameron groaned as he watched them walk away. "I'm glad they're happy and all, but seriously?"

Kirsten took out her phone and set a timer on it for fifteen minutes. She would give them a five minute warning to get back. If not, she could end up sitting there for hours without noticing. She showed the display to Cameron.

"We'll just hold them to it."

They shared a brief smile before the phone started to shake in Kirsten's hand. Cameron's face fell. He turned back toward the musician. Kirsten looked at her phone. Liam's face stared back at her. She swiped her finger across the screen and mouthed an apology at Cameron. "Hey, what's up?"

"I didn't realize you'd be at school today," Liam said instead of a greeting.

Kirsten searched the crowd. "Yeah. We're doing research today. Camille and Linus are getting something from the car, then we're going to have lunch." She finally found Liam and waved. "What're you doing here?"

Liam sauntered over to where she stood. "I had an appointment with one of the professors. Well, it was more of a job interview. I figured if you want to stay here, I should try to find a job." Liam hung up the phone because he was a few feet from Kirsten. "Have you had lunch yet?"

Kirsten tried to smile. It was sweet of him, but she had so much stuff to go over with her coworkers. "Well, we were going to have kind of a work lunch. I'd invite you otherwise."

Liam looked over Kirsten's shoulder at Cameron. "Hey Cam, you don't mind me stealing her away for a lunch, do you?"

Kirsten turned so she was facing both guys. "We could all have lunch and not talk about work," she suggested.

It was hard to tell whose expression was more annoyed.  "I think we can limp along without you. Camille can catch you up later." Cameron pressed his lips together. "Have fun at lunch. I'm gonna go find the lovebirds."

Cameron blew past Kirsten. That dormant ache in her chest was back. She gripped the front of her collar tightly. There was some sort of gulf growing between her and Cameron. He kept pulling back. That was what was bringing on these moments of lonliness.

Liam shook his head. "I don't envy him. Can't be easy to work with a couple and the taken woman you're in love with. Not that I blame him, you're very easy to fall in love with."

It took several heartbeats for Kirsten to process what her boyfriend had said. "What do you mean 'woman he's in love with.' Cameron isn't in love with me. He would've told me. He tells me everything."

Liam turned toward Kirsten in amazement. "You really didn't know."

The sounds of the quad roared around her. Little memories started flickering in Kirsten's mind. Looking at them through this lens made everything abundantly clear. No wonder he had been trying to withdraw from her. He was trying to protect himself.

"I feel like such a jerk," Kirsten groaned. She scrubbed her hands over her face.

Liam slung his arm around her shoulder. "Let's get you some food. It'll make you feel better."

Kirsten thought food would just intensify the pit in her stomach. She didn't have the heart to tell Liam that the only thing that would help was talking with her partner.

If only she could figure out what to say.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading and for all of the kudos and comments! I really appreciate each and every one of them. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter.
> 
> A few notes: The song Linus is talking about is "Poison & Wine" by The Civil Wars. It's gorgeous and hauntingly beautiful, but extremely sad. My little sister has a penicillin allergy. It's familiar to me and fit what I needed (an allergy you wouldn't think to tell people about, hard to accidentally ingest, and doesn't cause breathing problems usually). 
> 
> I swear they'll break up eventually. Kirsten is going to talk to Cameron about his feelings for her next chapter though.


	4. Takeout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cameron breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator doors opened. There was no one else in the lab. He had the entire place to himself. A few of his coworkers had still been milling about when he was leaving to pick up dinner. While most people would consider the silence blissful, Cameron found it unnerving. He couldn't wait to flood the room with music. It helped calm him by drowning out the noise in his head. His mind had been full of Kirsten and confusion all day. He was ready to immerse himself in something so deeply that there was no room left for thoughts of her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started this prior to Liam's proposal so he never did as far as this story is concerned.

Linus sat down on Cameron's couch. He spotted his phone on the coffee table and cursed inwardly. He had just returned from the bathroom. It had been hard enough to interrupt Cameron's story to leave the room. Linus had forgotten his phone which made the trip completely useless. He couldn't return for a while either. Cameron might get suspicious.

Linus grabbed the phone and stuffed it in his pocket. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Camille was probably getting nervous since he hadn't texted her since he had arrived at Cameron's.

"Do you need another beer?" Cameron called from the kitchen.

Linus asked for a Coke. It was getting late, and he was having trouble paying attention to Cameron's story. It still had some mileage left. There were several days between that day and the one Cameron was currently telling him about in excruciating detail.

Cameron returned with a beer and a soda. He handed Linus his Coke, then took a long pull of his beer. "So the same day you and I were in the field, I decided to work late..."

* * *

 

Cameron breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator doors opened. There was no one else in the lab. He had the entire place to himself. A few of his coworkers had still been milling about when he was leaving to pick up dinner. While most people would consider the silence blissful, Cameron found it unnerving. He couldn't wait to flood the room with music. It helped calm him by drowning out the noise in his head. His mind had been full of Kirsten and confusion all day. He was ready to immerse himself in something so deeply that there was no room left for thoughts of her.

There were plenty of things for him to work on. In the days before Kirsten, Cameron's role had been limited to just the lab. He took care of his equipment. He ran small simulations. He made copious notes about his research. On top of all that, he was now in the field most of his workday. Being in the field also meant filling out reams and reams of paperwork. The higher-ups wanted extremely detailed reports on all of the cases and what happened during the stitches. It was a lot to cram in. He found himself catching up on his days off.

Cameron walked over to his desk to fire up some music before he went to the breakroom. If even a drop of curry got on his extremely fancy setup, Maggie would kill him on the spot. Cameron pulled up a playlist of indie pop songs. He started bopping around to the beat. The acoustics in the lab were weird. The sound was a little tinny, but Cameron loved being able to feel the bass without worrying that he was disturbing his neighbors or coworkers though. The bass was the heartbeat of the song, and he loved how it thrummed through his body.

Cameron picked up his food and turned toward the breakroom. His heart nearly gave out when he collided with someone. His yelp was drowned out by the music thankfully. Kirsten stood there with her hands on her hips.

"Are you okay?" she asked. Her voice barely carried over the sound of the music. Cameron had to look at her mouth to figure out what she was saying, which was a terrible idea. Looking conjured up all sorts of daydreams and fantasies he'd had about her.

Cameron held up a finger. He was still collecting himself. To give himself more time, he went to his computer to turn off his playlist. "What're you doing here?"

Kirsten gathered some papers from Cameron's desk. "When I called Maggie to update her, she mentioned that you were working late. I thought I should too." She held up her papers. "I was just working here until you got back. We should probably move to the conference room. Your desk isn't big enough for the both of us."

 _This whole lab isn't big enough for the both of us_ , Cameron thought. It constantly felt like the landscape of their partnership was shifting.

Kirsten finished gathering her paperwork. "I shouldn't have cancelled our lunch meeting. You and Linus came all the way out. I was thinking we could have a dinner meeting now since you're staying late anyway." She gestured vaguely toward the breakroom. "I ordered takeout upstairs. There's chicken with broccoli for you and orange chicken for me. It's in the fridge so we can heat it up whenever we're ready to eat."

Cameron's traitorous heart skipped a beat though his head knew better. It was a mistake to confuse her pragmatism with kindness. Kirsten wanted to have her meeting before Nora Marin's refractory period was up. She didn't do this because she wanted to spend time with him. It was because this was a meeting that needed to be had. It didn't matter that she remembered what he liked to order. Kirsten was highly observational and logical. It wouldn't surprise Cameron if she could rattle off the usual lunch of every one of their coworkers. Her order had no deeper meaning to it, unlike Cameron's.

"I really appreciate that, but I actually just came from picking up Thai food." Cameron pointed to the plastic bag on his desk. "We can go eat in the conference room now though if you're hungry."

A tiny furrow appeared in between Kirsten's eyebrows. She nodded and handed Cameron the stack of papers. He entered the conference room and set the pile at the head of the table. He placed his food at the seat to Kirsten's left. Cameron wandered over to the breakroom so he could find plates and silverware. There was a mismatched set of kitchen stuff that their coworkers had brought in and left over time.

When he got to the breakroom, Kirsten was standing in front of the microwave. Her plate, judging from the food on it, was heating up. An unopened carton sat next to an empty plate. "You can dish up some if you want," she told him. Cameron took a fork and shoveled a small pile of food onto the corner of his plate. He told himself it was because he couldn't pass up one of his favorite foods. It had nothing to do with the small smile Kirsten gave him when he dished up his plate.

When Kirsten's food was done, Cameron microwaved his own. Kirsten found forks for them both plus a set of chopsticks for her partner. She left Cameron alone with his thoughts. He watched the numbers countdown on the microwave to calm himself down. When the timer rang, he grabbed his food along with two regular sized spoons, a serving spoon, and two bowls.

Kirsten's food sat untouched as she rearranged her papers on the table. She raised an eyebrow when she saw all of the things Cameron was juggling. "Is there a carton of ice cream in there?Pad Thai doesn't usually require so much stuff."

Cameron carefully didn't make any eye contact as he unstacked the bowls. "I didn't get that this time." He pulled two separate containers out of the plastic bag. The first one had rice in it, which he dished into each bowl with the serving spoon. He then opened the second container. Kirsten made a small noise when she realized what it was.

"You got yellow curry." Her words sounded like a statement, but there was some sort of unspoken question underneath them.

Cameron fidgeted as he spooned out the curry. "I felt like something different." He would never tell Kirsten that he got it solely because the dish was her favorite. That painfully pathetic fact was barely something he had admitted when he ordered it. It felt so ridiculous that he missed her and he thought this would make it hurt a little less. If anything it probably would've made things worse. Now he was wishing he hadn't given in to that masochistic impulse.

Kirsten frowned at the bowl when Cameron placed it in front of her. "Is this how you felt this morning?" She swirled her spoon around the bowl, mixing the rice and curry.

"What do you mean?" Cameron asked as he separated his chopsticks.

Kirsten paused to take a bite of food. It was obvious she was coming up with a response as she chewed. "You were trying to apologize by bringing me coffee. I derailed you by bringing you a muffin."

Cameron finally met Kirsten's eyes. She looked so confused. It wasn't an expression he was used to seeing on her face. "Do you feel like I'm derailing you with curry?" He took a careful bite of his chicken.

Her spoon churned the already mixed contents of her bowl. "I'm trying to apologize for earlier, but I feel like it's not working." She gave Cameron a concerned look. "I should've told Liam to go home. I shouldn't have prioritized him over you, especially not on work time."

Giddiness welled up inside Cameron's chest. He tried to tamp it down, but he felt like a shaken soda bottle. All of his joy fizzled like bubbles, expanding too much for his body to contain. If he let himself enjoy the moment, he wouldn't stop smiling for days. As things currently stood with them he knew he needed to rein in his feelings. This was his problem. He let every little thing mean something that Kirsten didn't intend. He couldn't keep misinterpreting things she said as romantic. Every time his initial happiness turned into heartbreak when he realized what she actually meant.

It took a moment for Cameron to control his voice. "He's your boyfriend. You should always put him ahead of me." He didn't add that he needed her to do that. It might hurt at first, but that would reinforce the notion that Kirsten wasn't his and never would be.

"You're my _partner_ ," Kirsten insisted. She leaned in and looked at him intently. "That makes you important to me." Her hand wrapped around his forearm, warming more than just his skin.

Cameron felt the color start to rise in his cheeks. "It really doesn't matter." He breathed deeply and pulled his arm away. "Are you all set up?"

Kirsten nodded, but her eyes narrowed. They swept Cameron, looking for something he wasn't privy to. Her mouth opened, then pursed back together. She shook her head as though to clear some stray thought. "Let's get to work," she told him.

Kirsten laid out everything she had learned at the sorority house that morning. It hadn't been much. All she had learned was that Meaghan had been targeted for some reason. The interview with her parents hadn't gone much better. Their daughters hadn't confided much in them. As far as they knew both girls were doing well at college.

All of Meaghan's texts were sympathetic messages from friends and acquaintances. None of them went farther back than a day or two. Kirsten had to wait for Fisher's people to release Nora's phone to them. It was irksome that they got to touch it first, but that was the way things were.

Cameron and Linus hadn't had much more luck. The resident assistant had been very unwilling to talk. He was afraid that they were reporters or something. One girl did chat with them, but it was mostly about how anti-social both girls were. Nora had been very withdrawn and shy. Meaghan was friendly, but interactions with her never went beyond a 'hello' and a smile. I

t was a good thing that they would be able to get one more stitch out of Nora's brain. They needed some sort of break on the case. It would have to wait until morning though. Her refractory period wasn't up yet.

Three hours had gone by, and Cameron could feel the weight of every second. His contacts were starting to dry his eyes out. Another hour and it would be completely unsafe for him to drive.

Kirsten scooped up their paperwork, while Cameron took care of their dishes. He washed them and put them in the drainer next to the sink. Kirsten joined him as he was finishing up the last plate. A frown had appeared on her face in the last five minutes. The grip she had on her phone was tight enough that her knuckles had turned white.

"All set, Stretch?" Cameron asked.

Kirsten stared at him. "All finished." She sighed, but none of the tension left her body. Cameron waited for her to move toward the lab, but Kirsten remained where she was. The longer she stood there, the deeper her frown became.

"Are you okay?" Cameron asked, moving slowly toward her. "Are you experiencing any residual emotion from Nora?"

Kirsten shook her head. "No, it's not the case." She looked at the floor as if it had all the answers she needed written on it. "It's something um Liam said."

Cameron was too tired to keep from groaning. "Listen, if you're having boyfriend trouble then I'm the absolute last person you want to talk to. Try Camille."

"I think you're the only person I can talk to about this." Her ominous tone set off every warning bell inside Cameron's head. They were at some sort of tipping point, and he wasn't ready for the other side. He really didn't want to know any intimate details about their relationship, but he also couldn't deny Kirsten anything.

Cameron crossed his arms. "Okay. Fine. Lay it on me, but I warn you my advice is going to be terrible."

Kirsten took a deep breath. "I thought he was kidding, you know. It sounds so outlandish, but I can't stop wondering if he might be right." She looked up from the carpet and straight into Cameron's eyes. "Liam thinks you're in love with me."

Cameron never saw it coming. Her words were a suckerpunch to his system. His lungs took in a deep breath like he was recovering from a physical blow. He couldn't come up with anything to say. His entire body locked up so he leaned on the countertop to stay upright. A tingling sensation traveled from his head down his neck and back.

It was bad enough that Kirsten was asking. The fact that Liam told her and she thought he was joking absolutely tore at Cameron's heart. She thought it was funny? Or so 'outlandish' that it couldn't be true?

"I can't do this," Cameron whispered.

Kirsten took a small step toward him."Can't do what?"

Cameron huffed out a humorless laugh. "Can't talk about this. I just can't." It was like his own nightmare of a Kobayashi Maru. Unfortunately, he couldn't just change the rules like Captain Kirk did. If he couldn't win, then he would have to choose the best way to fail. At this point, downplaying how much she was breaking his heart was that choice. He couldn't let her know the depth of his feelings. It meant lying to her, which he never did, but the alternative was so much worse.

"So it's true?" Kirsten's voice dropped on the last word.

"Does it matter?" Cameron pleaded in one last ditch effort for her to stop this line of questioning. This conversation was like opening Pandora's Box. All of Cameron's secret hopes and fears about Kirsten would come to light. Whether for better or worse - more likely for the worse - it would irrevocably change their partnership.

Kirsten tilted her head to one side. "What do you mean?"

"Does it matter?" Cameron over-enunciated each word. "If I were, what would it change? If I weren't, what would it change?"

Kirsten threw up her hands. "I don't know." She shook her head sadly. "I don't know. I just need you to tell me."

Cameron turned so he wasn't quite facing Kirsten. He didn't want to see her reaction. It was the only way he could fake an upbeat tone, have any hope that she would believe the lie. "I'm not in love with you." Kirsten's sigh of relief felt like a bullet straight to his chest. "But, you do mean more to me than just a friend or partner."

Kirsten walked a little closer, but mercifully stayed just outside of his sightline. "So this is what's been going on? I feel like there's some invisible boundary I keep hitting with you." She took a deep breath. "I don't want to hurt you. Tell me how to fix this."

Cameron felt his resolve cracking. He was inches from begging her to dump Liam, listing every single thing that made him love her."There's nothing to fix." He shrugged and looked over his shoulder at her. "Things will only be weird if we make them weird."

Kirsten scrunched up her nose. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

Cameron prepped himself for the series of lies he was about to tell. "It'll be easy. I'll be over you in no time. Nothing has to change." The smile on his face was forced, but Kirsten seemed to take it at face value.

Kirsten moved closer. She lifted her hand as though she was going to lay it on his shoulder. It stopped midair like she thought better of it. Her smile was sad and soft. It was a look Cameron had never seen from her: pity. Most people looked at him like that because of his heart. They were afraid he would do something to harm it. Here Kirsten was, the only person who didn't treat him with kid gloves about his physical heart, tip-toeing around to protect his figurative heart. She was unsure what would be too much for him. It was a tragic kind of funny.

Cameron wasn't sure how much longer he could keep up this new facade. He was exhausted, which made things so much harder. "Do you need a ride home?"

Kirsten nodded. "I'd like that. One rule though."

It made Cameron uneasy, wondering what that one rule would be. "And what's that?"

"We table this conversation." She motioned between them. "No more talking about it tonight."

Cameron breathed a sigh of relief. "Deal." It was the best thing she could say in that situation.

They made their way to the elevator in a not entirely comfortable silence. Cameron stood in one corner while Kirsten took the other.

"Tell me about the first time you met Linus," she half asked, half demanded. Just like that the tension lessened to a faint trace. It was still there haunting them, making them walk farther apart than normal. Cameron talked about Linus' first day which involved a minor electrical short and Cameron falling into the stitch tank. That turned into Kirsten talking about Camille and her roommate's antics. When they reached the car, Cameron left the radio off so Kirsten could finish her story about New Year's Eve, Camille, and a stained glass window.

Their stories about Linus and Camille shortened the distance between the lab and Kirsten's place. The ride was surprisingly less awkward than Cameron had anticipated. It made him hopeful that tonight was a speed bump, not a dead end, to their partnership.

Kirsten had barely closed the door when Cameron called her name. He had to tell her one last thing before she left. It wasn't necessary, but he needed her to hear what he had to say. Kirsten leaned inside the window, propped up on her arms. "

Did I forget something?" She peered at the floorboards and seat she had vacated.

Cameron shook his head. "I just - listen - part of _caring_ about someone is that you want them to be happy." Cameron glanced at the floor before making eye contact again. "At the end of the day that's all I want for you. Just remember that for me."

As soon as he finished, Cameron realized what a terrible mistake he had just made. Kirsten's face fell at the words. They were supposed to help make her feel better. Instead, they unspooled all of the remaining tension between the two of them. Kirsten quietly thanked him again for the ride before she practically sprinted inside her home.

Cameron smacked his head against the steering wheel. He sat there for a moment, allowing himself a small pity party. Maybe he had been too quick to think that they had patched things up. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for reading, subscribing, bookmarking, giving kudos, and writing comments! Every single notification makes my day :)


	5. Rooftop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for all the love! Hope everyone enjoys the finale!
> 
> Just a warning: mild violence and language in this chapter.

Kirsten went into the kitchen to find more snacks. Camille watched her leave. As soon as her roommate was out the door, she checked her texts from Linus. He still hadn't responded. Camille groaned and flopped down onto the couch. She lay there, face down. Not hearing from Linus was making her tense.

Her phone vibrated on the couch. It went off three more times in quick succession.

> **I broke up with him.**
> 
> **I pick you.**
> 
> **I want you.**
> 
> **If you still want me.**

Camille scrunched up her nose as she read the texts. She shook her head and went into the kitchen. Kirsten was sitting on the counter. She stared at the phone in her hand like it held the answers to the universe. Camille took the phone out of her hand and received a glare in return.

"First rule of tipsy texting: make sure you're sober enough to message the right person." Camille held up her phone to show Kirsten the texts she had just sent.

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "It's probably for the best. I wanted to wait and make sure I was right."

Camille hopped up on the counter next to her roommate. "Right about what?" She slung an arm around Kirsten's shoulders.

Kirsten took a deep breath. "I think I might be in love with Cameron. Something happened on Friday. I just didn't realize at the time what it meant..."

* * *

Kirsten tried not to read too much into Cameron's every action, but it was hard. She was on the lookout for clues. There was something off about Cameron, but Kirsten couldn't quite put her finger on it. He was perfectly pleasant and friendly. Usually he was joyful, ecstatic even, when they said 'hello' in the morning. His smile never failed to bring an answering one to her own face. Today, his smile was softer at the edges. Kirsten wasn't sure what that meant. It was still genuine, at least. That was a plus.

Kirsten thought over everything he had said the night before. It was hard reconciling the fact that he had _feelings_  for her. As soon as he had confirmed it, Kirsten worried that things would be awkward. He had assured her that they wouldn't be. Yet, here they were.

Only it wasn't Cameron who had changed; it was Kirsten. She couldn't stop thinking about what would've happened if Cameron had acted on his feelings. Would she have turned him down? Told him 'yes' even though she technically had Liam? The part that upset her most about the whole situation was that it seemed like Cameron never intended to say anything. He was content to have unrequited feelings for her and let them go unspoken. How many more times would she have unintentionally hurt him?

Kirsten wanted to do something to help. There was nothing she could do though. Listening to Cameron's problems would be awkward considering she was the problem. She couldn't do something excessively nice for him. That would just send a mixed signal, according to the Google search she had done. Withdrawing entirely to let him heal was the opposite of what he wanted. He wanted them to remain partners. There was no option other than to stick to the status quo.

Kirsten continued to watch Cameron as he fiddled with his computers. He always looked so comfortable at his station. Since starting at the lab, that image of him was what Kirsten saw when people talked about the concept of being 'at home.'

"Ready, KC?" Cameron asked with a smile. This one was closer to the usual one he wore. "Any time you wanna hop in the magic Jacuzzi, I'm ready."

Kirsten snorted. "The last thing I would compare this thing to is a hot tub." She climbed in anyway.

Cameron began the pre-stitch checklist. Kirsten let the ritual focus her thoughts. She needed to find a couple of things in Nora Marin's head. She just hoped that she could. They still had no leads even after Kirsten got her hands on Nora's phone. This was their last chance to solve her murder.

Kirsten almost missed Cameron say that he was initiating the stitch. Soon she was inside Nora's dormroom again. The brunette was scribbling on a sheet of paper. There were notes crammed into every blank space.

"Can you get Camille?" Kirsten asked. A barely audible noise from Cameron made her want to clarify. "I need her to research some names for me, while you walk me around in here."

"Tell me what you need, and I'll pass it along, Ace." Cameron was so close to Camille that Kirsten could faintly hear her.

Kirsten rattled off the list of names that Nora had in front of her. There were five in total. Places and times were listed along with how the people knew Meaghan. Nora circled a name several times then underlined several sentences.

> **Served her at house party.**
> 
> **Motive - internship.**
> 
> **Study group knew about allergy - mentioned when Meaghan on meds for sinus infection.**

Kirsten touched her headset. "Tell Camille to focus on a Blaine Campbell. Nora seems pretty sure he's the guy that tried to hurt Meaghan."

"Roger that," Cameron told her. His voice became muffled as he relayed the information to Camille. Another memory flashed in. Nora was lying on gravel with a black phone in her hand. She chucked it into the darkness below. Before Kirsten could get her bearings, the memory shifted. Meaghan was talking about some sort of internship she was applying for. It was with a small press that made comic books. It was a tiny step in the direction she wanted to move in. She would get to witness exactly how comics got made and hopefully make some connections. Nora's heart swelled at the news. At first Kirsten thought she was envious. Then she realized how happy the story had made Nora. It was pride that she felt welling up.

The scene shifted. Both girls were asleep. A text woke Nora up. The chime kept going off. She stumbled over to Meaghan's desk to make it stop. Nora yawned as she read the text. A chill ran through Kirsten's body.

"Something's happening, but I don't know what. Meaghan got a text; it scared Nora." Kirsten edged closer. She read the text aloud to Cameron. "'Stop sending your bitch sister to ask me questions. If you wanna talk meet me on the roof.' Well, that was certainly charming."

Cameron whistled over the comms. "Let's follow that memory."

Nora stood outside a door. Her hands shook violently. She balled her fists and took several deep breaths. She pulled a black phone out of her pocket and did something with it. Kirsten whipped back to when Nora threw the phone. Nora was on the gravel, trying to fight someone off. Kirsten couldn't see his face. Nora popped a keychain-sized can of mace out of her sweatshirt sleeve. It took her a moment to aim and steady her arm. She sprayed her attacker square in the face.

"She's fighting someone, but I can't make them out," Kirsten relayed.

The memory went back to when Nora first stepped onto the roof. She yelled at a blonde boy, demanding to know why he kept trying to go after Meaghan. He kept drawing near, taunting Nora.

"Does Camille have a picture of this Blaine guy?" Kirsten asked.

Cameron murmured something to Camille. "Affirmative. He looks kind of like Biff Tanner."

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "It would help if I knew who that was."

Camille's voice faintly came over the line, even though it sounded like she was yelling. "He looks like Draco Malfoy's frat boy cousin."

Kirsten nodded. "Gotcha. Definitely this guy." She tilted her head to the side. "Nora eventually sprays him with mace. I don't know what she's waiting for."

Then Kirsten remembered the phone. Nora drew it out of her pocket. She hit several buttons then waved the object. Blaine lunged for her. His hands gripped her arm like a vice. Nora clawed at his forearm, leaving an angry trail of blood in her wake.

"She scratched him. His DNA should be under her nails. We can use that to place him at the scene," Kirsten told her partner. "Nora recorded their conversation then chucked the phone. That's why Meaghan's phone had nothing on it. It was brand new."

"I'll tell Fisher. Sixty seconds until you need to bounce."

The memory zipped forward. Nora sprayed Blaine with her mace. She tried to run around him. He was waving his arms wildly to find her. They connected, and he shoved her hard. Nora's arms windmilled as she lost her footing. Her momentum carried her over the wall at the edge of the roof. She tried to grab onto the wall, but it was no use. Her screams echoed through the night. Kirsten appeared at her side. The walls of the memory started to fade away. Other ones crowded in as Nora died. They flashed by too fast for Kirsten to comprehend, but she gathered that this was Nora reliving her life.

All of the energy drained out of Kirsten. She laid down next to Nora. Every part of her body felt heavy. All she wanted to do was lay down and sleep.

"Ace? Your vitals are really weird. Make the bounce."

Cameron's voice sounded so far away. It came closer though.

_I'd say you're pretty remarkable._

_Sorry, Cupcake, not without you._

_"_ We're losing you. Do it now, Kirsten!"

_I can't risk you._

Even though her fingers felt stiff, she managed to type out 'iheartlinus.' The bounce wasn't as smooth as it usually was. Kirsten was reminded of that time she drank a whole bottle of wine by herself. She felt nauseated. A constant pressure thudded just behind her forehead. Kirsten squeezed her eyes shut. The lights hurt them.

Two fingers wrapped around her wrist. Ayo announced her pulse so someone else could record it. The number meant nothing to Kirsten, but Ayo seemed pleased with it.

"I think I'd die of shock if you ever bounced when I asked you to," Cameron said sarcastically.

He sounded so close, but when Kirsten opened her eyes she didn't see him. She sat up and turned around to see Cameron still at his station. His stance seemed casual, but Kirsten saw that it was anything but. His fingers held the countertop a little too firmly. Cameron looked more like he was restraining himself than relaxing.

"Are you okay?" Cameron whispered.

Kirsten nodded at him even though it rattled her head more. "I think I need something to eat. Any chance we can stop and pick up some doughnuts?"

Cameron chuckled softly. "That could be arranged."

Now, she had to figure out what the hell just happened


	6. Treetops

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting two chapters at the same time so make sure you've read the one before this.

A timer went off in the kitchen. "Duty calls," Cameron joked as he went to the kitchen. He got out the pudding he made and the pie crust he had already baked. He poured the pudding into the crust.

Linus snuck a glance at his phone. Camille had sent him several texts.

> **You would think Kirsten would skip any story I was present for. You would think.**
> 
> **DID HE TELL YOU ABOUT THE TALK???**
> 
> **The hell are you doing over there?**

Linus fired off a quick text to Camille so she knew he was alright. He walked into the kitchen to get another soda.

Cameron got out a cutting board and knife. "Wanna do me a favor?" He laid two bananas on top.

Linus eyed him warily. "Depends on what it is."

Cameron scrubbed his hand over his face. "You are far more sober than I am. Slice these for the pie?"

"I get two slices then," Linus bargained, holding out his hand to seal the deal.

Cameron shook his friend's hand then leaned against the counter. He toyed with a dish towel, folding and unfolding it over again. The only sound in the kitchen was the knife against the cutting board.

Soon Linus had finished slicing. Cameron washed his hands then began arranging the bananas on the pie. When he was done he put the pie in the fridge to set. He stood there for a moment before turning to Linus."She's in love with him," Cameron told him simply. There was only the slightest waver in his voice.

Linus froze. "What makes you say that?"

Cameron tried to smile. "She told me."

* * *

 

"Do you see it, yet?" Kirsten called up the tree at Fisher. She twirled his discarded jacket and tie around her fingers.

Fisher glared down at her. His shirt was untucked and wrinkled. His pants had streaks of oak pollen on them. For someone who kept themself so immaculate, Fisher was looking awfully disheveled.

"We brought him a doughnut with sprinkles. You'd think he'd be a little nicer," Kirsten muttered.

Cameron snickered. "Imagine if we hadn't. He'd be even more of a bear in this heat."

They had been outside for over an hour. Cameron had left his button down in the car. He was overheating in just his undershirt. Kirsten had put her hair up as soon as it started to stick to her neck. She still seemed a little off from her stitch that morning, but she looked far better than she had.

Kirsten skirted the trunk of the tree. She came closer to where Cameron was standing. Kirsten toed the mulch and grass around the base of the tree. Cameron peeked at her. He had a hand over his eyes, shielding them from the falling leaves and bark Fisher kept disrupting. The silence between them was strangely comfortable, but Cameron was starting to get bored.

"I can't believe you've never seen _Back to the Future_ ," he told her.

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "I've seen the movies, but that doesn't mean I remember every single character's name. It's not like you said Marty McFly."

Cameron shifted to the side as another spray of leaves fell. "You clearly haven't seen them enough. I own them if you ever want to rewatch them." A blush crept up his neck. "I mean you can borrow them from me obviously."

Kirsten smiled. "I may take you up on that." She pressed her lips together in thought. "Can we talk about the stitch this morning?"

The slight thread of uncertainty in her voice alarmed Cameron. "Yeah. What's up? Residual emotions?"

Kirsten shook her head. "I got too close to Nora's death. She was starting to shut down so I did too. It was really hard to move so I couldn't talk. I started to see memories of hers, but then I heard voices that I knew." Her sentence trailed off awkwardly.

"Were they people from the case?" Cameron asked in concern. He had known something was wrong, but didn't realise how bad it had been.

Kirsten tilted her head to the side in thought. "It was someone important to me, someone I care a lot about. They were talking to me and ended up pulling me back."

"Were they memories or something else?"

Kirsten hesitated."They were memories, but they were sort of relevant. I think my connection to them was what helped me get through it."

Cameron bit the inside of his cheek. He assumed she must have heard Liam. A tiny part of him was relieved that she didn't want to tell him exactly what Mr. Perfect had said. It wasn't any of his business what memories comforted her. If anything it seemed like a confirmation that she did love Liam. Staying out of things was definitely the right call.

"That makes sense. I'll make a note of it in my logs. We'll have to make sure we keep you further away from the actual death."

Kirsten shuffled the grass at her feet some more. She stopped when her foot hit something. She knelt down to find the object. Her hand closed around a smartphone. The screen had cracked across one corner. The cover was black with a set of Greek letters on the back. The smile that lit up her face was infectious. Cameron couldn't stop a matching one from spreading across his own face.

"Hey, Fisher!" Cameron called up. "You can come down now. We found the phone."

Fisher's face appeared between the upper branches of the tree. "You sent me up three different trees - three of them - only to find the phone on the ground." He started his climb down the tree, mumbling the whole way. Cameron thought he heard something about getting a new assignment, but he couldn't be sure.

"We should stop and buy him a milkshake," Kirsten whispered. "And maybe some cake.


	7. World's Most Awkward Picnic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. There were a lot of moving parts. Hopefully the length makes up for it :)

Camille leaned her head against the kitchen cabinet. They were still sitting on the counter, talking. "Alright so that was Friday. Today is Sunday. You need to hurry this story up before the wine makes me sleepy. It's already starting." She yawned loudly for emphasis.

Kirsten rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'll see what I can do. I spent my entire weekend with Liam." 

* * *

Kirsten squinted at her phone in the sunlight, willing it to chime. She had never truly experienced impatience before, and it was eating her alive. There had been zero messages from Cameron since Friday. They had both left the police station in a great mood. Blaine Campbell had been brought in for questioning in Nora's case. He had started spilling his story even though he wasn't charged with anything. Once the data on Meaghan's missing phone and the results from the DNA under Nora's fingernails came in there would be enough to arrest him.

Once Cameron pulled into Kirsten's driveway he told her goodbye. He said he would talk to her Monday.

It never occurred to Kirsten to take that statement at face value.

Usually Cameron texted her throughout the weekend. It was mostly work related things. Sometimes he sent her pictures of whatever ridiculous thing he made for lunch. Sometimes she sent him a picture of her PB&J in return. She usually received about a dozen texts from him over the course of a weekend. It had been radio silence from him for almost a day and a half though. Kirsten hadn't realized how Cameron had occupied every corner of her life until he wasn't around.

Kirsten had spent her entire weekend with Liam. He wasn't bad company. On the contrary, he was funny and smart. He could carry a conversation and knew a little something about everything.

The only problem was that he wasn't Cameron.

Every time they went somewhere, Kirsten's mind drifted to Cameron. On Friday, Liam wanted to go to the pier. Kirsten told him she wasn't up for it even though she had been yearning to go back. The next time she went would be with Cameron. They had promised each other that after their last adventure at the pier. It felt wrong to take Liam somewhere that was important to them. Kirsten talked him into window shopping in the artsy side of town. There were a lot of galleries and specialty boutiques in that area.

They went to a cupcake shop for dessert. There were dozens of flavors to choose from. If Cameron had been there, they would've picked a dozen and tried bites of them all. He would've suggested ranking them in order of tastiness and finishing the best one.

Liam didn't want to do any that. He wanted just one cupcake, the orange creamsicle. Kirsten would never understand why people would get fruit-flavored cupcakes when chocolate ones were available. She could be swayed by a nice caramel or espresso flavor, but plain lemon or strawberry just confused her.

On Saturday, they went to a museum. Liam refused to play the game that Cameron always did. It went like this. Every time they walked into a new room they would inspect each piece of art. They would then pick one to decorate their dream home. It was sort of silly, but Kirsten enjoyed hearing why Cameron chose the pieces that he did. They spent a whole fifteen minutes trying to determine whether a Mary Cassatt or a Manet would look better in their hypothetical foyer. Cameron had joked that they should get a painting from the artist that lived across the street from him.

It was weird not talking about the paintings. Kirsten felt like Liam could've been a stranger moving at the same pace as her. They barely talked so they could 'hear the artists speak to them' or something.

On Sunday morning Liam decided he wanted to go to the nearby farmer's market. Kirsten wanted to tell him no, but she couldn't come up with a good excuse. It was one of Cameron's favorite things to do. He had taken Kirsten, Camille, and Linus once before a movie.

They didn't get much of a chance to look at any of the stalls except for one. Cameron zeroed in on the grilled cheese booth and didn't let anything distract him from getting there. His favorite was the turkey, brie, and apple sandwich. Kirsten trusted him when he ordered it for her. He joked that if she didn't finish it, he would. The first bite was magical though. The crunch of the bread and the apple were perfectly balanced by the creaminess of the cheese. She had downed half of it before they even left the stall. It was hard to say what made her happier: that sandwich or Cameron's pleased smile. As they walked toward the movie theater, he pointed out some of his favorite sellers and what all they offered.

As Kirsten walked down the street with Liam, it was a very different experience. It wasn't that he was unfamiliar with the stalls. That would've been fine. It was that he got into extensive discussions with each and every person. He was fussy about everything, but was polite and charming anyway. Half of the time he would finish talking without buying something. That was okay by itself. What annoyed Kirsten was that he felt the need to explain that he had someone who could get him a better product elsewhere. More often than not those distributors were halfway around the world, which made them useless.

Kirsten spotted the grilled cheese stall. Her mouth watered at the thought of one of their sandwiches. She pulled Liam over and began describing how delicious they were. Kirsten ordered the turkey, brie, and apple. Liam had the pesto, mozzarella, and tomato.

"What do you think?" Kirsten asked around her mouthful of sandwich.

Liam nodded. "It's really good."

"Best grilled cheese ever," Kirsten corrected.

"It's better than most grilled cheese I've ever had. I will definitely make it for you," Liam told her. "I really like it, but you made it sound like it was better than sex. This sandwich, while delicious, is not better than sex."

Kirsten shrugged. "We're going to have to agree to disagree there."

Liam kissed her on the cheek. "I guess tonight I'll just have to prove you wrong."

Kirsten squirmed slightly, but continued eating her sandwich. She scanned the market for their next stop.

She spotted a familiar face in the crowd just as Liam did. "Hey, isn't that -"

"CAMERON," Kirsten called, ignoring the looks she received for yelling.

Cameron looked up from the honey he was inspecting. He awkwardly waved at Kirsten and Liam before finishing his purchase. After he was done he joined his partner and her boyfriend. It had only been two days, but Kirsten couldn't help feeling like it had been longer. She had missed Cameron.

Cameron pointed at Liam's sandwich. "Looks like you found Mabel's stand."

Liam gave Kirsten a smile. "We did. I was just telling Kirsten I would make it for her sometime." He peered into Cameron's reusable bags. "What all did you get?"

The boys discussed all of Cameron's purchases. He told Liam which homemade cheese stalls had the best product. There were several that weren't up to his standards. He showed him the jar of honey he had just bought. Cameron was explaining that different seasons had different flavors due to what pollen was available at that time of year.

"Cameron, can you help me pick out which honey we should get for our picnic?" Liam turned to Kirsten. "I feel like I'm not letting you have a say. Why don't you pick out something for dessert. Whatever you want."

Kirsten looked at Cameron to see if he was okay being left with Liam. He gave her an amused shrug. It was an awkward situation, but both guys seemed to enjoy each other's company. Kirsten tried to keep an eye on them as she found a booth selling brownies. She purchased several then hung back so she could watch her boyfriend and partner. They still seemed to be having a civil conversation, which was good. If Liam hated Cameron, Kirsten would have to dump him.

The thought crossed Kirsten's mind instantaneously. She puzzled over it. That shouldn't be such a hard limit for her. Cameron was her partner, her person, though. If someone didn't get along with him, how could they expect to be a large part of her life? Plus, he was so easy to like. He was funny and smart and kind. It was a serious red flag if someone didn't enjoy his company. She enjoyed his company above everyone else's.

Kirsten had slowly been walking herself to this conclusion, but it still made her uneasy. She wanted to be around Cameron more than any other person. He was the one who pulled her out of the bad stitch she had. That had to mean something. Given the choice right then, she would rather continue her day with him than her boyfriend. She was mostly certain that she wanted to continue her day with _Cameron_  as her boyfriend. That was something Kirsten wanted to talk over with Camille first though. She didn't want to jump into that if she was misreading her emotions. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Cameron or make their partnership awkward in any way.

The first step was breaking up with Liam. No matter how she felt about Cameron, Kirsten wasn't feeling confident with Liam. He was the perfect guy, just not for her. Their relationship couldn't go past what it had been. The question was how Kirsten should do it. Her fingers itched to text Camille or use Google to find an answer. Before she could though, Cameron spotted her. She discarded the wax paper from her sandwich along with her line of thought. Now she had to rejoin the boys, pretend she hadn't just made a potentially life altering decision.

From far away it had looked like they were getting along, but now something seemed off. Liam was relaxed and happy. Cameron, on the other hand, looked overly cheerful. His smile was a touch too wide. His movements seemed jittery. It was like he'd had five espresso shots in the time Kirsten had left.

"Well, this has been fun, but I gotta jet. Things to see, stuff to do." Cameron turned to Liam. He tried to fist bump him, but it turned into a strange handshake. "Good luck, man, you know in life and with the picnic and everything." He turned toward Kirsten, his pseudo-caffeination slipping. The smile was more genuine, though slightly sad. "You've got a great guy here. I'll talk to you later." He practically sprinted down the street, narrowly avoiding a woman carrying a whole tray of pies.

There was something Kirsten had missed entirely. Cameron had been fine before she left. Now he was a mess of nerves underneath a paperthin veneer of normalcy. "What did you guys talk about?" Kirsten tried to keep her voice calm. During her time with Fisher she had learned how attacking people was a bad way to start an interrogation.

Liam steered her toward the nearby park for their picnic. "Nothing much. I told him we might call later to see if everyone wanted to go out for drinks." Kirsten narrowed her eyes. Liam was doing that thing Maggie liked to do: hedging. They told a lie, but it was wrapped up like the truth. It reminded Kirsten of the fairies from Ed's bedtime stories. They were unable to lie, but could twist the truth to suit their needs and deceive anyway.

They reached the park. Several other couples had the same idea they did. They all had their sheets or blankets out along with some sort of food. Liam found a shady, secluded spot and laid out their blanket. Kirsten stood while he unpacked everything. She wasn't sure she could handle small talk during their meal.

"We need to talk about our relationship," Kirsten blurted out, unable to contain herself any longer. "The current parameters aren't working for me."

Liam smiled up at her. "I agree. That's something I wanted to talk to you about today."

Kirsten's body slackened in relief. "I'm so glad you agree with me. We were never -" A loud noise cut off the rest of her sentence.

The cracking noise reverberated around the park. Many of the other people ducked. Kirsten, however, tried to sprint toward the noise, toward Cameron. She had to know if he was alright. Liam's hands snapped around her, pulling her down toward safety. She struggled against him. When she figured out it was no use fighting him she pulled out her phone. If she couldn't visually confirm how Cameron was doing, a text would do. The noise came again followed by a mechanical sputter.

Liam laughed nervously. "It was a car backfiring. We're safe." He kissed her soundly on the forehead.

The sound of a car rumbling by confirmed what Liam was saying. His words loosened the coil of panic in Kirsten's chest. She erased the message she had been typing to Cameron. Her heartbeat hadn't quite reached its normal rhythm yet. The adrenaline flooding her system made her feel useless. With no other way to expel the excess energy, Kirsten took several deep breaths and closed her eyes. Liam's hands wrapped around hers, feeling the pulse at her wrist. He said something that Kirsten blocked out. She kept repeating the same thing over and over to herself until her body's fight response calmed down.

 _Cameron's fine_.

Kirsten removed her hands from Liam's and shook them out. "Now back to our discussion about our relationship. I'm so glad you agree with me. We don't have any obvious problems, but our relationship doesn't really work outside of our original arrangement. You're still a really good guy."

Liam frowned. "Wait, what?"

Kirsten continued on, trying to explain her point. "Just because I don't think you and I should be together doesn't mean I think you're a bad guy or something. You're smart, incredibly good looking, great in the kitchen and in bed. I just don't think we're compatible past a sexual relationship. In fact -"

Kirsten's voice trailed off as she studied Liam's face. It looked more like she had punched him than agreed with him. She wasn't sure what she had done to cause that look on his face. He couldn't even meet her eyes.

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"I thought that was what we both wanted," she said slowly, unsure of her footing in their conversation.

An angry noise that was half laughter, half scoff escaped Liam's throat. "I wanted to propose Kirsten. I want to marry you." He pulled a ring box out of his jacket pocket and tossed it onto the blanket.

Kirsten had never been surprised before. She had felt it in stitches, but hadn't experienced it until she saw that ring. It was difficult for her to find words. "Wow. I just - what can I even - wow." Kirsten blew out a frustrated breath. "I don't know what to say other than um my answer is obviously 'no.'"

Liam visibly recoiled at her words. "This is not how I saw this going."

"Me neither," Kirsten agreed. She wondered at what point she was supposed to leave. It seemed odd for them to have a big, long discussion. She was just going to follow Liam's lead. He could barely look at her so maybe he would ask her to leave before she could awkwardly stomp all over his heart more.

"Just tell me one thing." Liam paused to steel himself for his question. "Is there another guy? I would suspect Cameron, but he told me he just started seeing someone."

Kirsten's heart plummeted to the ground. Cameron was dating and didn't tell her? It wasn't hard to tell whether it upset her more that he was unavailable or that he hadn't told _Liam_  before her. Kirsten tried to push that hurt away and focus on her task. The pain was thorny and pervasive though, stinging in between heartbeats.

"I feel so stupid. Of course it's him." Kirsten tried to interrupt, but Liam held up a hand. "Please don't lie to me. You should've seen your face just now. I've never seen you display that much emotion. Ever." He rubbed a hand over his face. "How long have you been leading me on?"

Kirsten felt awful for making Liam so upset. There was nothing she could say to fix things. "Not long? It's only been during the last couple days that I realized how I felt for him. I haven't been sure of our relationship - yours and mine - for a while. I thought it was because I just needed to adjust to being in one or something. I didn't think I deserved being with you. Then I realized it wasn't that I thought you deserved someone better than me. It was that you deserved someone who was in love with you. I wasn't. You have always cared about me so much more than I cared about you. Even if you took him out of the equation, I'd be breaking up with you."

Liam's wince let her know that she wasn't doing a great job of explaining herself. "You really know how to make a guy feel special."  
"I just don't want you to think that if I hadn't met Cameron or if you had come back six months ago that this would've worked out," Kirsten explained."Nothing would've made this work."

Liam pressed his lips into a thin line. "Please stop trying to make me feel better. It's not working."

Kirsten scrambled to her feet. This sounded like her cue to exit. She was going to take it and run. The conversation was overwhelming her. Plus, she was just making Liam more upset, which stressed her out more. "Well, if we're done here, I'm gonna go." She felt like she should say something that was more of a goodbye. "I hope your life turns out well. Good luck. All the best."

Kirsten could practically hear Camille laughing at the number of cheesy sentiments that had escaped her mouth. She was just trying to cover her bases and make sure she didn't worsen the situation. Liam still looked like she had run him over with a car, drove the car in reverse, and hit him again.

"Goodbye."

Kirsten awkwardly waved then turned to leave. She made it two steps before Liam called out to her. Her nose scrunched up, but she faced him.

"A couple minutes ago, were you running to help or running to see if he was okay?" Liam asked.

Kirsten sighed. She didn't want to actually say the words and dig the knife a little deeper. "I think you already know the answer to that."

Liam nodded once. "That's all I needed to know." A strange chill snaked up Kirsten's spine. She wasn't sure what it was, but it made her uneasy. She hastened off in the direction of the bus stop near the farmer's market. A bus pulled up as she reached the sign. Kirsten didn't even check which route it was. She just wanted to put some distance between herself and Liam. Distance would let her think.

The route soon became familiar to Kirsten. It would take her near the mall. She couldn't have planned it any better. The mall was the perfect place. It wasn't outdoors like the beach or a park so she didn't have to worry about sunscreen now. There was no one with her to remind her to apply it. Shopping was an activity. It would give her something to do while she tried to sort out her feelings. She had a lot of things to untangle in her mind before she could explain herself.

Kirsten decided to ignore time for the rest of the day. There was nowhere she needed to be. She would leave when she was ready to talk to Camille, not one second sooner. Kirsten spent as long as she needed to in each store. Her stomach grumbled at one point so she bought a slice of pizza. Sixteen stores and three purchases later, Kirsten was ready to leave the mall. She called a taxi and told them which exit to meet her at. They gave her a time and hung up. Kirsten checked her watch and made a face. It would already be dark out, which meant she wouldn't get the chance to wear her new sunglasses. The taxi came to collect her. It arrived two minutes before it said it would. Kirsten gave the driver her address. They dropped her off fourteen and a half minutes later.

* * *

"...and then I went and got you. So now you're up to speed." Kirsten bit her lip. "Do you think I should call him?" Camille raised an eyebrow.

"Liam? No. Your breakup skills could use work, but I don't think you need to talk to him ever again."

Kirsten shook her head. "I meant Cameron." She blew out a sigh. "I think I have feelings for him, but what if I'm wrong?"

"I think that you're asking because you know you shouldn't, but you want to. Do you want me to give you permission? Is that what this is?" Camille asked not unkindly.

Kirsten put her head in her hands. "This is such uncharted territory for me. What if he really likes this new girl? What if I'm too late? I just don't know what to do."

"I'm pretty sure there isn't a new girl. Let's wait on confirmation of that before we worry too much about her." Camille slung her arm around her roommate. "The rest you'll figure it out. I'll help."

"Thank you."

Camille smiled "For the record, I think you two will make a very cute couple once you're ready."

Before she could reply, Kirsten's phone lit up on the counter. The display popped up with Maggie's name. Both women frowned at the device. It was way too late for a work call. Kirsten hit the green button and put the call on speaker. She held it in between them.

"Hey, Maggie. Camille's here too. What's up?" Kirsten said.

"Have you seen your boyfriend lately?" Maggie asked.

Kirsten's jaw tensed so Camille answered for her. "They kind of broke up today. She hasn't seen him since this afternoon."

"Well, someone matching his description just attacked Les while he was at a work dinner. He'll be fine, but I need you to come in, Kirsten. You're integral to making the program work, and he knows where you live. We need to get you somewhere safe."

The roommates exchanged a glance. "We kind of powered down a bottle of wine, boss. We'll get someone to pick us up," Camille explained.

Kirsten felt strangely pleased that Camille wasn't going to leave her alone. She was having trouble processing what happened. It was like Liam had always been a bad guy. She didn't feel quite so badly about breaking up with him.

"Do it fast and meet me at the lab." Maggie hung up without a goodbye. Kirsten called Chelsea to pick them up. Of all of their coworkers, she lived the closest to their house. Kirsten's long legs swung back and forth nervously as she talked to her coworker. Chelsea had been home and was on her way. There was nothing to do until then.

During Kirsten's conversation, Camille hopped down from the counter. She paced the floor and chewed on the edge of her thumbnail. When Kirsten hung up the phone, she slid off of the counter and joined her roommate. "What's wrong?"

Camille licked her lips. "Liam's been working for years for your trust. He lost it so now things will get messy. He needs leverage." Her hands shook. "What would be your next move if you were him?"

"Usually leverage is a hostage, someone close to who you want to hurt." Kirsten's heart lurched as she realized what Camille was getting at. "Call Fisher. Tell him to go to Cameron's."

Kirsten dialed Cameron's number. She took a few breaths to steady herself. It wouldn't be much of a warning if she couldn't talk. The phone rang before it finally went to voicemail. His pre-recorded voice chilled her blood.

Kirsten called back.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Every time it went to voicemail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for continuing to read, comment, leave kudos, bookmark, and subscribe! 
> 
> The original idea for thistory was that there was real gunfire, and Kirsten shielded Cameron, not Liam. It sort of evolved wildly into what you've read.
> 
> And I'm the kind of weirdo who eats lemon cupcakes and talks through the entire museum.


	8. The Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long! Especially after how I ended that last chapter.

Cameron poured himself a glass of water. He gulped it down, draining the entire thing in one continuous swallow. Three beers wouldn't make him sick, but they might give him a splitting headache in the morning. The last thing he needed was a hangover.

"Kirsten never actually said she loved him. In fact if I followed that story right, she never used the word 'love' at all. For all we know she was talking about Camille," Linus said, holding his hands up in a half-shrug.

Cameron shook his head. "She would've told me if it was Camille. She didn't say his name because she knows how I feel about her and didn't want to upset me, which is why I never said anything about that to her." He raked a hand through his hair, messing it up even further. "There's no other explanation."

"That still doesn't mean she's in love with him," Linus pointed out.

They had reached the point in the story where Cameron wanted to stop. He was afraid if he told Linus what Liam had said that it would come true. He was a man of science, damnit. In that moment he was terrified that saying the words aloud would be akin to calling Beetlejuice three times though. It was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous.

The pit in his stomach had made a reappearance. It had taken up residence that afternoon. Driving up and down the coast in his convertible had helped somewhat. The speed and the sea air couldn't completely put him at ease though. That's where the baking had come into play. Only a shadow of his discomfort had been left. Now it was back full force.

"Can we pause this little heart to heart and maybe play some Borderlands 2?"

Linus nodded, but Cameron knew the conversation would eventually come back to Kirsten. This would only buy him a little time. By then he might find the courage to repeat what he had been told.

Cameron turned on the television and game system. He found both of the controllers and handed one to Linus. They both loaded up their characters. Linus let Cameron flip through the list of missions they had and pick whichever one he wanted to complete.

Cameron selected one where they had to defeat a mini-boss. She was a queen spiderant, larger than the other spider/ant hybrid creatures in the game. It was the perfect quest. There was a lot of shooting and strategy, but they were taking out giant insects instead of people, which made Cameron feel better about using it as stress relief.

Twenty minutes and two respawns later, they had won. Cameron was the one who had died twice. He was getting a little too bold. Instead of evading damage to restore his shields, he was charging further into the fray to get a good shot. That strategy worked until he died, leaving Linus to fend for himself for a minute. The sacrifice of his second life allowed Linus to finish off the boss before Cameron returned from the dead. They celebrated with a high five then looted the area for money, bullets, and whatever other trinkets had been left for them to collect.

Linus shook out his shoulders. "Got any snacks? I'm kind of hungry." Right on cue his stomach gurgled softly.

Cameron laughed. "Help yourself. You know where I keep everything."

Linus padded into the kitchen. He started rummaging through the cabinets, occasionally commenting on some obscure kitchen gadget of Cameron's. That left Cameron to defend a whole host of things in his cabinet. Linus was in the middle of teasing Cameron about his spice cabinet - was there _really_ a difference between pink and white sea salt? - when Cameron's phone went off.

The display lit up with Kirsten's name and face. Cameron had changed it months ago at her request. She was concerned that if he got into an accident the emergency personnel wouldn't know how to contact her. Cameron had wanted to remind her that he was in way more danger when they were together than apart. She had a tendency to rush headlong into things, not unlike Cameron had just been doing in his game. In the end he had acquiesced and changed her name in his phone. He even put an asterisk before her name so she would be at the top of his contact list.

Usually seeing her face name filled Cameron with a pleasant sort of nervousness. It was generally tempered with concern that she wanted him to do something dangerous. Now he was filled with a sense of foreboding. Several of his organs, namely his heart, seized up like they were anticipating a blow. This was what he had been dreading all day. He had been given hours to think about this moment, prepare for the strike.

Cameron wasn't ready though. The script he had rewritten almost hourly had vanished entirely from his mind. There was no way he could feign enthusiasm, which was what this moment required. He couldn't mar her happiness with his heartache. Not answering her call was the lesser of two evils. Cameron flipped off the sound on his phone. He watched as Kirsten's face disappeared from the screen then reappeared.

Cameron set the phone face down on the table. He saw Linus' a few inches away. It occurred to him that when Kirsten couldn't get a hold of him she might try Linus. The wave of guilt was nothing compared to the dread he felt welling up. He turned the sound off of Linus' phone too, rationalized it by giving himself a deadline. Thirty minutes then he had to pull himself together to call her back. That was feasible.

Maybe.

Cameron shook his head. Liam had given him the whole day to prepare, and here he was mucking it up. The whole thing had been infuriatingly decent and absurdly smug of Liam. Earlier at the farmer's market he had told Cameron about his plans to propose to Kirsten. It was supposed to happen during their picnic. He wanted to let Cameron know in advance so he wasn't taken off guard.

This was meant to be a nice gesture, but it made Cameron feel so small. He had to be forewarned so his heartbreak wouldn't cause problems. It sounded so pathetic. That was why he smiled at Liam and made up a woman, someone new he had supposedly starting dating recently. That helped him save face, if only by a small margin. It was getting harder and harder for him to pretend his heart wasn't breaking. The toll lying took was becoming too much.

Linus returned with a bag of black bean chips and mango salsa. He set them down then snacked a little before picking his remote up. "Who was on the phone? Do you need to call them back?"

Cameron shrugged awkwardly. "No. You ready?"

Linus nodded. They picked a new mission and continued playing. Cameron's concentration had slipped drastically. He wasn't aware of his surroundings. Enemies kept killing him with little effort. If Linus was annoyed, it didn't show. He was firing critical hits and keeping out of harm's way at the same time.

Cameron's eyes kept sliding to the clock. He was at twenty minutes. If he wanted a pep talk from Linus, now was the time. Cameron knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. Logic meant he should let go. His heart wouldn't though and it was maddening. The tug of war between wanting Kirsten to be happy and wanting to be the cause of her happiness was slowly tearing Cameron apart. All he could think about was the time he got turned down for prom and the advice his grandmother had given him. She said that he couldn't control how his friend felt about him, but he could control how he handled it.

This delay was just him being selfish. Kirsten deserved friends who would support her and be happy for her, not a partner that made her engagement all about his broken heart. He needed to get his head out of his ass and celebrate her good news. He needed to put his feelings aside and be there for his friend. It was foolish to think time would help with that. This conversation would never be anything but hard. He was just delaying the inevitable.

Cameron paused the screen. Linus made a frustrated noise. He had been seconds away from winning the mission for them. "What did you do that for?"

"I need to tell you something," Cameron said more to his controller than his friend.

Linus set down his controller and leaned back. "Okay."

Before Cameron could spill about Kirsten's engagement, someone pounded at the apartment door. The door shook violently with each knock. Cameron's heart sank. He really hoped it wasn't Kirsten. It wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for her to strongarm Liam into driving her over if he didn't answer his phone.

"Coming," he shouted, though he was barely audible over whomever was at the door.

Cameron jumped up off the couch and jogged over to the door. Linus followed him. The door was still shaking when they reached it. Cameron peered through the peephole.

"It's Fisher," he told Linus with a frown. It didn't make sense for Fisher to be at his place with this sense of urgency.

The locks were hardly undone when Fisher flung the door open. His gun was in one hand, pointed at the other two. He lowered it as soon as he realized they were the only people in the room. "Mind telling me why you're both not answering your phone?"

Linus looked at Fisher in confusion. "Mine hasn't rung." He closed his eyes and huffed out a small laugh. " _Cameron's_ did though."

Cameron winced. "I tried to tell you."

Linus shook his head and went into the living room for his phone. He picked it up and scrolled through the notifications. "Nine missed calls from Camille. Eight new voicemails. Eighteen texts." The irritation in his voice was unmistakeable. His fingers flew over the digital keys, trying to reassure Camille that he hadn't been killed, kidnapped, or worse.

Fisher dug his own phone out of his pocket to call Maggie. She picked up before his ear hit the speaker. "They're both unharmed, alpha target is not present. We'll be in soon. Tell the others they can stop worrying." He hung up the phone. "C'mon. You two have a lot of explaining to do."

"Where are we going?" Cameron asked as he gathered his things.

"The lab. You're all on lockdown. Les Turner was attacked." Fisher raised his eyebrows and smiled sarcastically. "I know you're going to get yelled at soon, but you two could move a little faster."

The scientists sped up slightly. Linus got the lights while Cameron turned off the electronics. They soon exited the apartment. The elevator ride to the lobby was painful to say the least. Cameron chewed his nails. Linus refused to talk with either of the other two. He bounced up and down, waiting to be out of the elevator and able to use his phone. Fisher kept staring at the ceiling as though he was wondering how he ended up babysitting.

The only thing worse was the ride to the lab. It was only fifteen minutes, but it felt like fifteen years. Linus read through his texts and listened to his voicemails. He composed what seemed like a novel to Camille on his phone.

Cameron was left alone with his guilt. He couldn't even bring himself to read Kirsten's texts. If he hadn't been so afraid, he would've answered her call. He wouldn't have worried everyone. Instead he let his feelings cloud his judgement and ended up scaring his friends. The acid in his stomach - or maybe it was the beer - churned with each mile they went.

They reached the lab in record time according to the clock, though it felt like anything but. Fisher had to park out back, but he wanted the boys to get in as soon as possible. He let them out at the door and watched them go inside. Only then did he drive off. It seemed like a weird choice to Cameron until the elevator doors opened, revealing an extremely pissed off Camille.

"You two are in serious trouble," she half-snarled. There was a thickness to her voice that Cameron had never heard before. Her usually flawless eye makeup was smudged. Cameron's stomach dropped further. Camille had been so upset she had cried. This was fearless Camille who never let anything bother her. Bile rose at the back of Cameron's throat.

Camille reached out and pinched Cameron hard on the arm. "Talk. What possessed you to turn your phone on silent?" Cameron tried to talk, but he was cut off. "And don't try to say you didn't. Linus gave you up immediately."

Cameron swallowed hard. "I didn't want to talk to Kirsten. I was being childish." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it." Camille shook out her hands. "Do you know what it was like for us? I thought you guys were dead." Linus moved to hold Camille, but she backed away from him. "You were supposed to keep him from doing something idiotic. This _definitely_  qualifies."

Linus threw up his hands. "I went to get snacks and this guy decided to go off the grid. How could I know?" He reached out instinctively to touch Camille again. His hand stopped before he touched her. "I'm sorry you were worried. I _never_  would've let him do that." Sincerity hung from his every word.

Camille walked forward. She gripped the front of Linus' shirt with her fists and pulled him closer. Their foreheads were barely touching. "Don't ever scare me like that again," she whispered.

"Never," Linus agreed in an equally soft voice. He leaned in to kiss her gently, but Camille evaded him. She tugged him closer for a quick hug instead.

"Don't press your luck." Camille pulled away so she could look him in the eye. "We'll call a truce for now. If you ever do anything like that again I can't be held responsible for my actions though. I'm sure I could find something on Pinterest about making weapons out of mason jars and other common household items."

Linus chuckled. "Duly noted."

Cameron fidgeted, trying not to stare at Camille and Linus. He was glad his friends made up, especially because it was his fault they were fighting in the first place. The only problem was that he shouldn't be present for it. He couldn't really leave though because they should go find out about the lockdown together. Cameron's brilliant plan was to clear his throat loudly to remind them of his presence. Shockingly, it worked.

Camille disentangled herself from Linus. "Sounds like someone is ready to have his ass handed to him. Kirsten and Maggie are in the conference room. I guess we should brief you guys. Killer on the loose and all that." She swept her hand toward the room. "After you."

Linus passed Camille. Cameron tried to follow him, but a hand darted out to stop him. Camille held him there. "Make sure you think before you speak in there, okay?"

Camille held eye contact for a beat to get her warning across. She turned and caught up to Linus easily, taking his hand in her own. Cameron followed along, wondering what exactly Camille was so afraid he would say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for your continued interest! I really appreciate it. We're at the halfway point or (less).
> 
> The Borderlands franchise is a favorite of mine. It's one of the only co-op I play so I used it instead of something I don't ie. Call of Duty, Destiny, etc.


	9. Heart to Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I'm so sorry this has taken me so long. Life kept getting in the way. That and trying to keep Kirsten in character. There have been many versions of this chapter. Hopefully you all enjoy this one.

According to Camille, they had gone twenty-seven minutes without hearing from the boys. Kirsten trusted her roommate about the length of time. It was the worst she had ever felt, in or out of a stitch. There was a distinct possibility that it was the worst feeling she would ever experience.

Kirsten and Camille had both tried to get in contact with Linus and Cameron. Neither one answered their calls or texts. It was so hard to sit there and do nothing. Both ladies had had too much to drink to drive, not that Kirsten legally could when she was sober anyway. The wait for Chelsea seemed interminable. Camille continued to call Linus, biting her lip so hard as she was sent once again to voicemail.

Kirsten had felt like her body was too big for her skin. The need to do something clawed at her. It was like she had downed several espresso shots then was told to sit perfectly still. Kirsten already found emotions overwhelming. She didn't like that these new ones were intense and shifting inside her like tempests trapped in a bottle. Guilt rose, then fell. It was overtaken by anger. That eventually bled into despair. They went round and round like a carousel.

When she was younger Kirsten thought that emotions made people weak. Now she saw that their ability to handle them meant that they were strong. She felt completely unable to wrangle hers. How did anyone function in an emergency? The only thing holding her together was the hope that Cameron wasn't dead. Kirsten didn't think she could handle it if that switch flipped in her mind. Thinking of Cameron as though he had always been dead might ruin her.

By the time Chelsea showed up, Camille had already made Kirsten move outdoors even though they were still in their pajamas. They waited in the cool night air with their overnight bags and pillows. Kirsten wasn't even sure what was in hers. She had dumped bunch of clothing and things from the bathroom in the bag. Camille made her bring a pillow. If they were going on lockdown they might as well bring something comforting. It was impressive how level-headed Camille was able to be. When she pulled up, Chelsea was in her pajamas, an old t-shirt and flannel pants, as was Alex, who had accompanied her. Kirsten filed that away as something to ask about later.

They were nearly at the lab when Linus finally texted. Camille had trouble reading the message aloud so she made Alex do it. When he handed the phone back she stared at the screen for a moment. Her eyes glistened as she reread the message several times. A loud sob escaped her. It was as though a dam had burst. Kirsten found a package of tissues in her bag and handed them over. Camille swiped at her face, smearing her eyeliner in the process. She told everyone that they were happy tears, but Kirsten wondered if she had been holding them back the whole time.

Kirsten's emotions didn't ebb entirely at the good news. Her tentative relief overshadowed most other feelings at least. It was much easier to handle than some of the others. Guilt over her part in things and anger toward Liam drifted in the background, but they weren't nearly as potent as they had been.

A small part of Kirsten was annoyed at their luck. It had all been some stupid quirk of fate. Knowing the boys, they had turned their phones on silent to hear a game better or something equally as ridiculous. There had to be a rational explanation. She knew Camille was already prepping a speech on keeping a line of communication open.

When Kirsten got to the lab she assumed that hearing Cameron was okay would make thinking so much easier. That wasn't the case at all. As she sat down in the conference room she realized how exhausted she was. It had been a long day in terms of big events. She might not recognize time, but her body was still regulated by it. That wasn't factoring in the wine and stress. The adrenaline that had shot through her system earlier was starting to wind down. Her back faced the elevator and Camille waiting impatiently next to it. This was in an attempt to make it easier for her to focus on Maggie.

Kirsten was having trouble processing what her boss was telling her. Kirsten's mother was one of the real architects of the Stitchers program. Her father was an even worse human being than she thought, considering he took credit for an advancement that wasn't his. When Daniel Stinger abandoned her, he also absconded with as much of his wife's research as he could get his hands on. It wasn't the whole picture though. There were vital pieces he was missing. Kirsten's father had also been responsible for several attacks on people associated with the program over the years.

And Liam was most likely working either for or with him.

It brought things from bad to worse. Maggie wanted to tell Kirsten before she told the rest of the team. It grated on Kirsten's nerves that Maggie hadn't felt the need to release this information sooner, especially the part about her mother. Before Kirsten could vocalize her frustration, the door opened behind her.

Linus walked into her line of sight along with Camille. Kirsten could almost feel Cameron hesitating in the doorway. She turned her chair toward him. He stood there, hunched over in anticipation of her anger. Her stormy expression toward Maggie didn't help matters. Truly, a small part of her wanted to yell at him for scaring her so much. Another part wanted to haul him against her to feel just how not dead he was. The best course of action for her that moment was to put all of that on the backburner.

There were much bigger things to talk about. "Sit, Dr. Goodkin. We have a lot to go over," Maggie ordered. Cameron gulped at Maggie's use of his title and last name. That was never a good sign.

Kirsten gestured to the chair on her left, offering it to him. Cameron sat down quickly. He shot her a grateful smile. Kirsten wanted to tell him he had a lot of explaining to do, but she went back to tracing designs on the tabletop with her finger. She found it helped her focus better. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that Cameron was staring at her hands, a ghost of a smile on his face.

"So tonight Les was attacked. The assailant had a gun and was highly skilled at using it. Luckily, Les has great bodyguards and happened to be wearing kevlar. The gunman fired off three shots before he ran off. Based on the preliminary reports, we think it was Liam Granger."

Cameron's head snapped to look at Kirsten. "As in _Liam_."

Kirsten shrugged. "I told you he wasn't perfect."

Cameron frowned at her, studying her face. He lingered for several heartbeats before looking elsewhere. Kirsten wasn't sure what he was searching for and whether or not he found it.

"His cousin Hermione must be very disappointed in him," Camille said with mock sincerity. Linus snorted at the remark. The joke slightly loosened the twist in Kirsten's stomach. She wondered idly if that's why Camille was always so quick with a witty comment. It made the hard things less of a burden.

Maggie silenced her employees by arching her eyebrow then continued on. She had done her own research on Liam when Kirsten started dating him. Kirsten was torn between feeling indignant and that Maggie's caution had actually been warranted. The big thing that she had found was a photograph of Liam with Kirsten's father. The crease in Cameron's forehead deepened as Maggie explained the program's dark history with Daniel Stinger.

Eventually Maggie's outline of their situation was punctuated by yawns from the others around the table. After Linus started snoring softly, Maggie thought it was best to end the meeting.

It was decided that they wouldn't be useful unless they had a little sleep, an hour or two at the most. The lab had been built after Kirsten's dad had left the program so Maggie figured they were safe for a little while. She had personally helped develop the security and was confident in it. While the team was asleep, Maggie and Fisher would do more research and check the lab for weaknesses. Once everyone was coherent they could really begin.

The other half of the team was already searching for the emergency supplies. Ayo and Tim must have walked in while they were in the meeting. Maggie mentioned them like they were in the building. She left to go update the four scientists and Fisher. Linus and Camille rose from their seats at the exact same time.

"We'll give you guys a minute," Camille said to Kirsten, pulling Linus along behind her. They were out of the room before anyone else could say anything.

Kirsten folded her arms on top of the table. She rested her head along the top of them so she was still facing Cameron. He mirrored her pose. His forehead was still furrowed in concern.

"Before you ask, I'm okay," Kirsten reassured him.

"I know better than to ask." Cameron licked his lips. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

It was such a hard question to answer. "No...yes...eventually. I'm a little overwhelmed right now. I just want to catch him so we can get back to work, back to normal."

"I'm sorry it turned out like this." Cameron's voice was barely louder than a whisper, but it hit Kirsten hard. She didn't mean to start talking about Liam, but a confession slipped out anyway.

"I hate how this makes me feel. I have bigger things to worry about than whether some guy wasn't who he said he was." Kirsten snorted derisively at herself. "Like how said guy is going to destroy everything I care about with my estranged father at his side."

The words coming out of her mouth sounded so ridiculous. Kirsten's life was rapidly becoming a soap opera with a heavy sci-fi tone.

Cameron sighed heavily. "You can't help what you feel. It's totally natural to be upset about this. He lied to you. He betrayed your trust. He _hurt_  you." His voice had slowly risen in volume, cracking at the last sentence. Cameron cleared his throat. "Those aren't little things when they come from someone you love and trust."

This was why Kirsten wanted to go to Cameron. Even when he was completely off base he helped her sort out her feelings. He talked her through untangling and identifying them, cataloging them for future use. He never judged her for feeling a certain way. Kirsten sat up so she could make sure Cameron understood what she was saying.

"Who said anything about love? It's not that he hurt me. It's just that - " Kirsten paused to cast about for the best word. "I feel really naive. It's like I always knew he was playing me. I let him into everyone's life, and now he's out to hurt them." She looked down in Cameron's eyes, making sure he understood. "I thought he was going to hurt you. If he had it would've been all my fault."

Cameron sat up and leaned toward Kirsten. "He had us all fooled. Do you think Camille would've been so supportive if she thought Liam was playing you? I really thought he loved you. He even told me..." Cameron froze. He snapped his mouth shut and eyed Kirsten warily.

"He told you he loved me?"

The thought annoyed Kirsten. Liam had been the one that pointed out how Cameron felt toward Kirsten. He was clearly aware of the scientist's feelings about his partner. Rubbing it in seemed callous. Although this _was_  the same guy who teamed up with her father to kill her boss.

Cameron nodded grimly. "He did. This isn't your fault though. No one would've guessed he was going to go off and attack Les tonight. He seemed perfectly happy earlier."

"Yeah and then I broke up with him. It kind of feels like that set him off."

Kirsten couldn't feel time lapsing, but she could tell Cameron was pausing to absorb her words. He blinked rapidly and started to talk several times before closing his mouth again. His hand came up to rub at the back of his neck.

"You broke up with him?" Cameron whispered his question, leaning even more into Kirsten's space. The scent of vanilla wrapped around her. It let Kirsten know how close they had drifted together, but she made no attempt to pull back.

"It was really awkward. He tried to propose after that. Can you believe he thought I would say yes?" Kirsten scoffed at the idea. In her mind they had been in the trial stages of a serious relationship. Although looking back, that might have been a way for him to get closer to the program.

Cameron scrubbed his hands over his face. "I thought you would." He jerked away from Kirsten, trying to move his chair back. Kirsten grabbed onto his wrists, moving herself closer.

"What are you talking about?" There was a slight tremble in her voice. She could almost see puzzle pieces appearing and rearranging themselves in her mind. Her hands tightened around Cameron's wrists.

Cameron pressed his lips together before answering. He stared at the ground. "When you were off buying dessert or whatever, Liam told me he was going to propose. He thought telling me would keep me from reacting like a total asshole." Cameron laughed without any trace of humor in his voice. "Clearly, that wasn't the case."

Kirsten's fingertips bit into Cameron's skin. "That's why you didn't answer the phone." His face was an open book like always, but Kirsten needed to hear him say the words.

Cameron's eyes pleaded with her. "I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to ruin things for you." He winced though Kirsten wasn't sure why. "It's a really stupid reason, I know, but I just couldn't handle it. I wish I could take it back. I'm sorry."

A roaring noise made it hard for Kirsten to hear anything. She vaguely thought it might be the blood rushing to her head. Several different emotions warred inside of her. It had been hard to sort them earlier, but now it was even worse. The only identifiable one was anger. It sat coiled in her chest, poised to spring whenever she was ready.

"You're right. It's a terrible reason," she mumbled as her fingers slowly peeled themselves from his wrists. Kirsten used her feet to push her chair further away.

Cameron did the same, giving her the space she wanted. His face became a mask of determination. "I messed up, and I know that an apology isn't going to fix things -"

Kirsten cut him off. Anger exploded out of her like soda out of a shaken bottle. "You're damn right it's not going to fix things. You terrified me. I've never experienced that before and it was awful." The despair she felt earlier nearly drowned her again, but she let her anger buoy her. Standing up helped her focus. "I thought there was a reasonable explanation. I thought it was an accident. You purposely ignored me when I needed you."

Cameron stayed seated and looked up at Kirsten. "I promise from now on I will always answer my phone, no matter what." The sincerity in his voice was tinged with desperation. It helped quell the inferno raging inside of Kirsten enough for her to be able to think straight. A strange pressure began to build behind her eyes.

"I trusted you more than anyone else, which was really hard for me. So many important people in my life have lied to me about so many things. I learn something new Ed kept from me all the time. Camille was spying on me for two years though she's redeemed herself. Maggie never warned me about her suspicions about Liam, who ended up being this nightmare of a boyfriend." Kirsten took a deep breath after her rant. "I don't know how to fix this. How do we fix this?" She demanded the answer even though she knew he didn't have one either.

"I don't know," Cameron told her ruefully. "I swear I will do whatever it takes to earn back that trust though."

An ache pulled at her chest. She didn't want them to be at odds. Kirsten wanted her partner back. This wasn't the conversation that she had planned on having about their relationship.

"I really hope that's possible." Kirsten shook her head. "It's strange how I can be so relieved that you're okay and at the same time be so angry with you." Her heart squeezed painfully at the pain-stricken look on Cameron's face. "I probably shouldn't have said that out loud."

Cameron opened his mouth to say something, but Maggie's voice over the intercom cut him off. She announced that lights would go out in twenty minutes. Kirsten knew that Maggie was doing it solely for their benefit. Everyone else was with her.

"We should get going," Cameron said though he made no move toward the door.

Kirsten nodded. She walked over to the door and opened it. Cameron followed behind her. They reached the bottom of the stairs in silence.

"I have to go find my backup glasses and contact case." Cameron gestured toward his desk.

"Okay."

Kirsten started to walk toward their temporary sleeping space. She looked over her shoulder at Cameron. His entire body had shrunk in on itself. He looked so fragile. A wave of something sad washed over Kirsten. She had trouble putting how she felt into words, but she tried.

"The reason I'm so angry is because it hurt so much thinking you were in danger.," she told him. "You can't do anything that stupid again. I can't lose you."

The tension melted out of Cameron. His shoulders slackened, giving him some of his height back. "I don't want to lose you either."

Kirsten gave him a tiny nod. She turned on her heel and walked toward the multi-purpose room that the others were in. It was generally used for training and to temporarily store things. Someone had moved all of the tables and chairs into another room. The sleeping bags had been arranged in no particular order. Camille and Linus were next to each other as were Alex and Chelsea. Everyone was laying down if not already asleep, so Kirsten tiptoed through the room. She found her toothbrush and toothpaste, then headed for the bathroom. Camile tried to wave her over to talk. Kirsten held up her toiletries as an excuse.

As she walked she thought more about Maggie and Fisher doing research while she slept. It went against her nature to not help. There was a threat looming, and Kirsten would be damned if she didn't do everything in her power to stop it. There was also the small matter of Maggie not sharing information in the past. Kirsten used her phone to time out ten minutes. She hoped that would be enough time for Camille to fall asleep. Finding Liam was Kirsten's responsibility. She was also their best source of information.

Kirsten rubbed her eyes as she made her way back to the multi-purpose room. She dropped off her things and picked up one of the sleeping bags. She unzipped it and pulled it around her shoulders. The lab was always so cool to keep their equipment from overheating.

Knowing Maggie she wouldn't work in the conference room. Fisher would probably suggest the breakroom on the off chance that there was something sweet in the cabinets. Kirsten shuffled off in that direction. Her intuition served her right. Maggie and Fisher sat at the table closest to the back of the room. There were two laptops and several papers spread across the table along with a thick slice of banana bread.

Fisher groaned when he spotted Kirsten. "Of course you showed up."

"This is my mess. I'm cleaning it up," Kirsten said, practically daring them to disagree. She frowned as she looked at the couch. "What's he doing in here?"

Cameron was curled up in the corner of the couch. His head was propped up in his hand, tilting his glasses slightly. His legs were pulled close to his chest. Kirsten's heart squeezed a little at the sight of him. He looked so peaceful, unlike earlier.

Maggie sighed. "Cameron wanted to stay and help. I told him he could if he sat on the couch." She tilted her head in thought. "I hadn't expected him to fall asleep that quickly."

Kirsten walked over to the couch and gingerly removed Cameron's glasses. He made a small noise before dropping his hand and burrowing into the couch. Kirsten pulled the sleeping bag off of her shoulders and draped it gently over him. She stared at him for a few more heartbeats before turning back to Maggie and Fisher.

"Take a seat. We're just going over old case reports. Chelsea said Liam's name seemed familiar and she's been archiving things recently," Fisher told her.

Kirsten eyed the end of the couch before sitting at the end with her legs tucked under her. "Can't you just run a search?"

Maggie laughed at the exasperation on Fisher's face. "Cameron asked the same thing. These case reports are so old that they've been scanned, but not fully digitized."

Kirsten snorted. "You guys had all this super-secret technology and couldn't type your reports?"

"The director at that time was extremely paranoid. He liked having paper copies under lock and key. We only started digitizing things when Cameron asked a few months back. It's not a high priority so it's taking some time."

Kirsten rolled her eyes. She would never understand analog people. Maggie started reading the first report. Her voice was soothing and slow as she read. The cadence of it and the complexity of the medical jargon made the words slippery. Kirsten had a hard time grasping onto them.

Her attention drifted back to Cameron. The anger she felt toward him earlier had lessened even more. Grudges were an entirely foreign concept to Kirsten. She had never felt anger that lasted like this. It was getting tedious. She hoped it continued to fade and quickly.

The weight of the day started to drag Kirsten down. Her eyelids grew a little heavier each time Maggie came to yet another four syllable or more word. Kirsten fought against her drowsiness, but it was a losing battle. Eventually it became hard to blink, so she told herself she'd listen with her eyes shut.

Within moments she was fast asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Kirsten is such a challenge to write, but I really enjoy it. This is going to be a couple of chapters. The next one is going to be from Cameron's POV while he talks to Linus.
> 
> Enjoy tonight's episode! I'm so glad we're getting a season two :)


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